Michael Bogdanffy-kriegh

First Thoughts

… wedding celebration complete!… great party… don’t seem to have a hangover… dogs were the biggest hit… my outfit the second biggest hit… after bride and groom of course… it’s official, my generation’s music is the go to wedding music and has been for some time… except, i recall, my parent’s generation music has always been my go to for romance music… i am thinking nostalgic music is a key requirement for romance and wedding mood setting…

… the defense of January 6 insurrectionists protests yesterday were nothing burgers… i sense the possible cooling down of insurrectionist fever… hopeful…

… HCR took the night off… happy Sunday everyone!…

… the sun is starting to rise… the pre-dawn glow… ravens in the distance… H gently snoring…

… vacation and recovery from the last couple of months can officially begin!…

… just checked the tide schedule… high tide about now… this impacts where i will walk… Rodman’s Hollow or South Lighthouse into town… decisions…

First Thoughts

… M and W’s wedding day…

… our trip to BI smooth except for the ferry crossing which was a little rough… we love our new car…though we both feel that when the lease is up we will want to buy it and then trade it in for a plug-in hybrid, i suspect we will get attached to it and it will be hard to give it up…

… HCR meter pointing down, suggesting that we are heading towards, perhaps are already engaged in, a new civil war… that white (male) supremacy ideals, if you can call them ideals, are still strong amongst the people of the United States of America… it is impossible for me to imagine how this is the case, but i know in my bones that it is… i know it because i see it on the news… i know it because long ago i perceived that the white patriarchy was in existential crisis and would fight to the death to preserve the world they have ruled over for so long… i know it because D was the white patriarchy writ large in my life…

… my weight on a steady climb, much to my dismay, though i have been unable to walk for the past day or two and my food selection has not been great… need to figure out how to address that over the next few days… i need a strategy… a silver linings weight management strategy…

… we showed up at Mahogany Shoals to join the young folk which consisted of the L crowd and significant others along with M&W’s friends… we met J, S’s SO, and C, G’s SO, said hello to S and B, M and W and then melted into the night as it became clear that it was a young folks gathering…

… a raven squawking outside then flying into the distance, still squawking, and now one is right outside the window… organizing a bird rebellion?…

Lauren Elkin on Another

… No. 91/92: A Diary of a Year on the Bus…

… this book catches my attention… the come on about not looking at commuting the same every day… the still images of women staring blankly into space, which turn out not to be buy the author, but are, instead, film stills from movies by directors that are felt to be relevant to the work being discussed… the book comes from notes the author made on her phone as she traveled to and from work on the bus in Paris… this is the kind of thing that i have done… i am enthralled… i buy the Kindle version of the book to read while i am on vacation…

First Thoughts

… at last, the day we take off for BI has arrived… we are largely ready… have to pack my own clothes and a few kitchen items, take care of a few other items, but other than that, we are ready to go… the car is even partially packed… H has just gotten up…

… our car insurance check has not been processed by the bank… this is making me nervous… will need to bring it with us… in case we have to deal with that…

… HCR meter pointing downwards… about Michael Flynn gaining traction on the right… about one of the largest real estate companies in China on the verge of collapse… that will have some impact around the world… the Michael Flynn story is disquieting…

… i am so looking forward to being on vacation… my coping capacity has been stretched to the max… H started telling me about a little scratch and swelling around Chas’s eye… she started worrying at me looking to me to tell her what we will do… i told her i had no capacity for anything further going wrong, there was no way we could take him to a vet before leaving without missing M’s wedding that she was going to have to deal with it herself and not share her worries on it with me… and she did exactly that and everything is ok and i didn’t have to obsess about calling it one way or the other… though, in effect, i did call it… at any rate, i am looking forward to not having to worry about much, going for long walks, having nice meals, etc. etc. etc… time to decompress…

Issa and the Meaning of Animals: A Buddhist Poet’s Perspective. David G. Lanoue

… what matters, that we all die, or that we sing along the way?…

The last example is perhaps the most dramatic and poignant. Issa introduces it with the head note, “Flood” (kôzui 洪水). The insect may be floating to his death, yet he keeps singing. Perhaps Issa sees himself in the insect; perhaps he sees in it the fate of all living creatures, for all are equally, eventually doomed. The important thing isn’t the inevitable death to which the currents of the universe sweep us; what matters, Issa implies, is to embrace the present moment … and sing.¹

… what one of us isn’t concerned with the inevitable subsidence of our “conscious” being?… we are crafted to survive at all costs… it’s inbuilt that we worry about the integrity of the configuration of atoms and processes that constitute our bodies and consciousness, whatever that may mean… the Buddhist way is to work hard, through meditation and mindfulness of the present moment thinking, to let go of the obsession with dying which is, in any case, inevitable… so, the advice is to sing regardless of the situation you find yourself in…

… another way of looking at the poem referenced is that we are what we are, even in the face of disaster and imminent demise…

still singing the insect

is swept away …

floating branch

… and now i learn that animals of all kinds can be observed to dance… interact while moving in that exhibit structure and repetition… early humans learned to mimic these animal dances and would do so in ceremonial ways to encourage abundance and successful hunting, to become one with the animal being hunted… close identification with animals of all kinds allows behavior prediction… it also focuses mind and body on a successful encounter, whether the objective be to kill, capture or avoid…²

… the interesting question arises, does one need to know they are dancing to be dancing?… “I think, therefor I am.”³… i dance, therefor i dance?… to be the best kind of dancer i am sure a dance training master would suggest that one need’s to forget they are dancing and simply be the dance… i am groping towards something here… conscious, so called “rational thought,” is a hinderance to being in direct communication with one’s environment… it is impossible to hold anything sacred that is only “thought” about… one must be in seamless relationship with the world to hold the idea, the instinct, that it is sacred, worthy of respect and honor, of careful and respectful interaction… by writing poems about nature and animals and the world in general, one is setting themselves on intimate terms with all of that, dissolving the boundaries between self and cosmos…

First Thoughts

… well, we did it, in just four days we tracked down a car we wanted to lease, completed the transaction, brought it home… it’s not our ideal car, plug in hybrid, hybrid, were both high on our list of desirable… still, we got heated seats, a bucket of safety features, a larger car than we had before, a moon roof, a pleasant, well crafted ride… and because we leased it, the chance to buy or lease the car of our dreams in three years…

… having settled the car question, we can drive out to Block Island, enjoy our niece’s wedding, and have a vacation in which we can finally have some down time and together time, which we have had little of for the past month and a half… between M’s accident and D passing away, we have been separated and tending to our respective family traumas… and then there was the drowning of our Honda Fit by tropical storm Ida… as i write “Ida” i am prompted to check my hurricane tracker app to see what is brewing in The Atlantic… a couple of storms, one doesn’t look likely to hit land, the other, coming off the coast of Africa is presently moving towards the Caribbean… should keep an eye on that one…

… a couple of things to do still to conclude the Fit chapter in our lives… we need to get our plates back so we can hand them in and stop the insurance on the Fit… we need to meet with a Geico representative to sign over the title and receive a check… it’s not looking like either will happen before we leave on vacation…

… for the next two days we will organize ourselves to get out to BI…

… HCR meter, neutral, Joe Manchin and a handful of Democrat senators have crafted a compromise voting rights bill that Manchin has promised he can get ten Republican votes for… according to HCR, democracy hangs in the balance… i ascribe to this position too… it looks like the preservation of democracy or the preservation of the filibuster, at great cost to democracy as a governing principle…

…

Stacy Arezou Mehrfar: The Moon Belongs to Everyone

… as i look through the review, not really sure i can call it that as the reviewer doesn’t take a position on the book that I can see, if don’t find an image that is compelling in and of itself… i get many of the images, but don’t love any of the images, and have a sense that the photographs are gathered to become something more than they are individually… this image is an example:

… an image that most any photographer with a bit of a poetic spirit might make…

The Moon Belongs to Everyone by Stacy Mehrfar, is a response to the contemporary experience of migration – of shifting continents and mindsets. A multi-layered visual narrative set in a non-locatable landscape, the book reflects upon the loss of roots, and search for belonging in the wake of immigration.¹

… it might sound like i am panning the book, i am not… i don’t have it in my possession, so can’t take it in entirely… i have only the images shared in this review and the artists statement about the work to go by… i am attracted by the idea of it and its alignment with a spirit within photography which doesn’t view each individual image as precious, but rather places the emphasis on the story they collectively tell…

First Thoughts

… just 84 hours after finding our car was drowned in flooding when tropical storm Ida passed through, we have organized a new car for ourselves, a Honda HR-V EX AWD…

… we are hoping to have it in our possession by Thursday, if not before…

… it’s hard to say that we have good car karma, given the drowning incident, but both times we have procured a new car, we have been able to do so under circumstances favorable to us… we got our Honda Fit during cash for clunkers… we traded in a car we paid 3K for and got 7K for it… it was a big part of making the car affordable at the time… this time we have an insurance settlement which is nearly double what we expected as a trade-in… again, helping with the money down situation…

… finding the car has been a whirlwind… we visited three different Honda dealers and two different Toyota dealers before settling on the HR-V above… there is a shortage of cars because there is a global shortage of microchips essential to their manufacture… most cars are being purchased before they get to the manufacturer’s lot… that we found one that met most of our requirements and desires already on the lot that hadn’t been spoken for is a small miracle…

… HCR meter neutral…

• about the Gavin Newsome recall election in which the far right contender is already claiming evidence of massive voter fraud, one day before the voting has even started…
• quote of the day “_If losers in a democracy refuse to accept the legitimacy of elections, the system falls apart._”¹
• about Republican intransigence on the vaccine mandates imposed by the Biden Administration…
• about the soft infrastructure bill that no Republican supports…

Issa and the Meaning of Animals: A Buddhist Poet’s Perspective, David G. Lanoue

•  The deeper truth of his not purely whimsical poem is that frogs, just as much as humans, are fully part of this universe and, in their way, might appreciate its wonders.¹
• … i read this and think… hmmm… making just a little too much of a claim to animal sentience… but then, but then… i wonder if animals, when their basic needs have been met, take moments just to enjoy the good feeling of having needs met coupled perhaps with an idyllic evening, or afternoon, or morning?… my immediate thought is that they have more to fear from their surroundings than i and most of the humans I know do… can they ever let their guard down?… can they ever experience a moment of vulnerability?, of bliss?… my dogs do, i am pretty sure… wrapped in the security of having their basic needs met and being with humans who love them dearly and protect them, they can afford to have their guards down and perhaps enjoy a pleasant moment in the cosmos…

First Thoughts

… my first thoughts this morning were about determining what the value of our drowned Honda Fit was pre-drowning… the news is on the high side of what i was thinking… $3500-$4500… so, we shouldn’t accept less than that… and, reasoning that the values i researched were trade in values, it might be a little higher still given that we were covered for replacement of vehicle and that used cars are in demand and expensive given the chip and consequent new vehicle shortage… with that plus a little more from our savings we should be good to go…

… H in a foul, depressed, lazy mood yesterday… that made me a little foul, depressed and lazy…

… at least, so far, no signs of COVID…

… no HCR meter this morning, she took the night off…

… i crank up Paul Tortelier playing Bach Cello Suites… i haven’t done that in a long time… i need to get back to meditative practices…

… i did my stretching exercises this morning too… haven’t done those in a long time… self care…

… 226.0 lbs this AM… was 223.4 lbs the day after i got back from Florida… i didn’t expect to stay there as i got dehydrated on the trip back… but now i need to pay attention, not go any higher, continue the downward trend…

… today we will go to at least one, maybe two dealers and the bank to look into new cars…

Micro Poem

Apples on the ground– Isaac Newton’s time of year!

Issa and the Meaning of Animals: A buddhist Poet’s Perspective

• i read about butterflies as road trip companions…
• i learn about Arukigami, the God of Wandering… i learn that Arukigami entices people to leave their homes and walk about… sounds a little aboriginal to me…
•  The haiku jokingly connects his and the cat’s restless journeys to a god’s influence, when in reality, as he and his readers must know, the force that compels a cat and a poet to wander is quite worldly: the cat seeks food or sex; the poet seeks inspiration for haiku—which, in turn, makes the attainment of food and sex (whether in marriage or in the brothels of which Issa sometimes writes) possible.¹
• i learn about winter seclusion, what Issa and poets before and after him did in the harsh winters… find a hut to hang out in and stay there until spring came around…
• i learn that fukubiki can be translated as “Lucky the Toad,” and that Lucky is a common stand in name for toad…
•  People are genetically programmed to be repulsed by the smell of rotten food, to be excited by the smell of good food, and to be attracted to partners whose faces and bodies exhibit symmetry that indicates health and might therefore ensure the passing of one’s genes to the next generation. If our human sense of beauty evolved from such primal impulses, we might come to suspect that nourishing flowers excite and draw butterflies to them because, to butterflies, they are beautiful.²… i think the question and thought needs to be reversed, that humans need to first acknowledge that as conscious as they appear to themselves, they are largely driven by “animal instincts,” which are the same instincts all animals and even plants possess, so a concept of beauty is the world at large attracting the animal to something beneficial…

First Thoughts

… we started looking at new cars yesterday… will probably head in the direction of a Honda HR-V… slightly larger and more SUV like than the Fit… we will probably lease since we have to move quickly and can’t get our ideal car, a hybrid… HR-V hybrids will become available in a year or two, so by the end of the lease we may be able to get an HR-V hybrid… also, one would hope that the worldwide chip shortage will be over and new cars more readily available…

… dropped off K and B’s photograph and had a chat yesterday… good to see them… we have to get together with them after we return from BI… we owe lots of friends dinner or some kind of entertainment…

… continuing my streak of less than optimal fortune, both my bank cards were compromised yesterday… had to get new cards… need to think carefully about how i use them and where i allow them to be stored… seems rather unlikely that both of them, one relatively new and not used that much, should be compromised simultaneously… i worry i have been hacked somewhere…

… sorted out H’s Apple Watch issue yesterday… she is good to go…

… today… family meeting, photowalk, farmer’s market, vacuum, unpack suitcase, text M…

… need to eat a bit healthier today… no pizza, turkey and cheese rolls… need vegetables!…

… HCR meter solomn… about 911 on the 20th anniversary of the attack… the danger the Republican Party poses to democracy…

First Thoughts

… going home day… resuming something like a normal life day… M all on their own day… that is where we are… i feel confident that M will be ok…

… it is amazing how much less tension there is in the air without D in the picture… a kind of black hole increasing in intensity the older they got… it is a little sad that there are no recent good memories…

… Joe Biden upping the anti on COVID vaccinations… mandating them wherever the government touches… OSHA with companies of 100 or more… Head Start programs receiving government funding… all federal employees… all contractors doing business with the government… fines doubled for airline passengers refusing to mask… there was one on the way down…

… slept poorly… the red wine?… didn’t drink anymore last night than the night before… white wine the night before… i don’t think i got more than three or four hours sleep… last contact with my favorite barista at Kunjani… an unusually pleasant and smiley young woman… more willing to have eye contact… more willing to engage… if i were living here we would get to be on a first name basis and i would have warm feelings towards her and fantasies about her… so it goes…

… if all goes smoothly i will be home by 6 tonight… i will sleep in my own bed… i will hug and kiss H and the dogs… the weather should be ok…

… the increased number of cameras and clothing items i am going back with barely fit into my bag…

… HCR meter pointing up… the COVID vaccine mandates, the Justice Department suing Texas over its draconian new law… the actions taken by the Biden administration more popular than not…

Issa and the Meaning of Animals: A Buddhist Poet’s Perspective, David G. Lanoue

… Chapter 2, Anthropomorphism or Realism?…

… the difference between Basho and Issa…

cawing in the tree

are you a widow, crow?

Milky Way above¹

… one of Basho’s most famous crow haikus:

on a bare branch

sits a crow…

autumn evening²

… in the first, poet and crow participate in the universe together and share existential possibilities and kinship… in the second, the poet channels his own loneliness and late stage of life through the crow… for Issa, animals are fellow travelers… for Basho, animals are symbolic of the human condition… of his condition…

… overall, this book has confirmed my sense that Issa is a “down to earth” poet… he keeps his poems grounded through anthropomorphism and a willingness to depict life in it’s every day sense…

… Issa observing the universal condition… every creature must “work” to survivie… food and shelter must be obtained and maintained… children must be conceived and fed and supported… life, for most creatures is work… we are blessed when we are one with the work that sustains our lives…

First Thoughts

… HCR meter neutral, a discussion of Republican bad behavior over the past 50 years which, one gets the impressions, there has not been much to match on the Democratici side… it seems clear that Republicans view themselves as being involved in a existential situation and are pulling out all the stops to stay in power… and have always done so, except when they were on the side of right and multiculturalism and the Democrats were the racists and purveyors of white supremacy… back in the Civil War era…

… H reports that L has become fed up with M and P and is washing their hands of the care of M and P and plans to rent a house during the wedding of their daughter… i am wondering if H is going to have to jump into the breach to take care of M and P… H is resisting that but i wonder if family loyalty and nursing instincts will kick in… at any rate, one hopes that M and L will come to appreciate H’s generosity of spirit and calmness in the face of difficult situations… i feel for them all… family turmoil not fun…

… this is my last full day in Florida and i am increasingly confident that M will be ok on their own… not that there won’t be sadnesses here and there… not that they won’t have moments of profound aloneness…

… i don’t think M has ever been alone in their life, jumping straight from childhood home to marriage…

… the other day M was speculating about how things might have been different had their childhood home situation not been difficult… would they have spent some time by themselves?… might they have gone to college? might they have become more independent?… would they have married D at all?… would R, J and i be here at all?… in that thought is the hint that the price for security has been high… further supported by the “free at last thought” the other day…

… yesterday a story about D’s intense jealousy preventing M and D from spending time with a couple M was close friends with… all because the spouse had a habit of touching, both men and women, on the arm when talking to them… a warm, friendly gesture which D refused to see as anything but hitting on M, even when they were the receiver of the touch gestures… they believed it was misdirection aimed at concealing lust for M…

… sadly, jealousy has kept M from lots of interactions with people she knew and cared about, including me, as i believe that jealousy was at the base of D’s anger towards me for the past 35 or 40 years… it’s not surprising that M has part of them saying “free at last”, and somewhat ironic that they are channeling Martin Luther King Jr. in doing so…

First Thoughts

… HCR meter positive… about the radicalization of the Republican party and the possibility that the radical gamble may not be paying off… we’ll see… would love if it were true…

… more and more i am looking forward to returning home… in the past month and a half, H and i have spent less than 24 hours in each other’s presence… it’s wearing thin… i miss the dogs and the cat too… i miss my home life…

… M continues to look ok to me… they are sad, for sure, a little uncertain about being on their own… but my assessment is that they will be ok… we should all be attentive after i leave and it will be good to come back for Christmas…

… i went to check out the Red Roof Inn we would probably stay in when we come down… it was nice as RR Inns go… a big one with three buildings arranged around a courtyard with, i think, a pool… it is within walking distance of Tin City, a fun tourist trap with shops and restaurants installed in old tin commercial fishing buildings… one of my rituals when visiting M and D was to have dinner in Tin City at least once… i liked the honky tonk nature of it and the generally ordinary people that went there…

… M keeps trying to have political conversations with me… it makes me uncomfortable… at least they don’t get angry with opposing views… they were questioning me about voter ID laws in ways i didn’t have a good immediate answer for… i just sent them an article on the subject that seemed reasonably balanced and described the issues involved… we’ll see what they think…

… the world is different without D around… much less tension in the air, which we all felt because of their tendency towards irrational anger explosions… M feeling guilty because the thought “free at last” was passing through their mind… i told them that feelings are feelings, they are neither right or wrong… what one does with and about feelings is the pivotal question… that is where right and wrong start to enter into things…

… M is propelling me back onto FB… they want a way to keep up with what is going on in my life… i hesitate to give them access to this blog because even though i am very circumspect about identity, feelings that may be distressing to them do get expressed in a public venue… this might be a signal that i shouldn’t post them, but the venue is not public in the sense that FB is and i resent not being able to express myself more publicly about what’s going on in my life…

First Thoughts

… beginning to look forward to getting home… miss H and the dogs… getting a little bored… M seems as though they will go on… a little sad… a little lacking in motivation… but otherwise ok… doing some future planning…

… HCR meter neutral to pointing downwards… about the voting rights landscape… about whether the multicultural majority will control the next many decades, or the mostly white minority will… the filibuster stands in the way of the former and so far, Dems have been unwilling to change it…

… have started reading a book on Issa haikus dealing with animals… i thought, when i bought it, that it was focused on animal symbology, and it does get into that, but the main focus is demonstrating Issa’s attitude towards animals, which was more or less a Buddhist attitude, and making an argument that he believed in the fair treatment of animals as that might be meant in our time, not his… i don’t know that i see the purpose of making such a case in a scholarly treatment of the poet… Buddhist belief systems generally treat all life forms as fellow travelers in the universe… as part of the web of life… i suppose i prefer the web of life view in general, even as i consider machine intelligence, and what might be evolving in the entire life/consciousness/thought system… having just finished George Dyson’s Analogia, which makes the case that machines and the coding that runs them will, have(?), reached the point of self determination and self reproduction, but not without needing us as a sublayer of their existence… this is perhaps the more benign way it could go, if indeed it is going that way… human beings not at the top of the intelligence chain, but necessary to it and therefore guaranteed a place in it going forward… i need to pick up Ken Wilbur’s book and read it again… i think it dovetails with the Dyson ideas… one question remains, however… this whole human machine thing maintains the possibility of self annihilation… how will this machine/human complex avoid destroying itself?… is violence an unavoidable part of all cultural thought systems?…

Analogia, George Dyson 02

… at last, we get to an idea of intelligent and evolving machines…

Erewhon contained three central massages: machine intelligence will supervene upon human intelligence as surely as our own intelligence supervened upon that of our individual cells; self reproduction is inevitable once evolution takes hold among machines; and there is no future in trying to turn back the clock.¹

… and, quoting Canon Thomas Butler…

Our plan is to turn man’s besotted enthusiasm to our own advantage, to make him develop us to the utmost, and find himself enslaved unawares²

… and…

Butler concluded that it was impossible to draw a precise distinction between living and nonliving things, or to give a precise definition of life that would not, sooner or later, include machines. “Then only thing of which I am sure,” he argued in 1880, “is that the distinction between the organic and inorganic is arbitrary; that it is more coherent with our other ideas, and therefore more acceptable, to start with every molecule as a living thing, and then deduce death as the breaking up of an association or corporation, than to start with inanimate molecules and smuggle life into them.”³

… and this…

Automata, advertising, and natural selection are an explosive mix. Google’s introduction of AdWords, nonetizing not just language, already coded, but also meaning, not fully coded yet, was the equivalent of Lee de Forest’s introducing the control grid into Fleming’s vacuum tube. Internet advertising drives a global high-gain amplifier connecting the reward sought by computers (more machine cycles and instructions) to the reward sought by humans (more of the stimulation now returned with every click). We set loose an evolutionary system that rewards machines that learn to control both how we feel and what we think⁴

First Thoughts

… nine hours of sleep last night… remarkable… must have been tired… or sleeping in a comfortable bed as opposed to the couch makes a difference… or both…

… J & R returned to Seattle yesterday… J had a hard time with delayed flights, etc… don’t know about R… they haven’t communicated… it’s just M and me now…

… my foot is feeling better… H thinks it’s planter fasciitis… some of the symptoms match up… some don’t… we’ll see…

… no HCR meter this AM… she took the night off…

Analogia, George Dyson

… i must confess to a good deal of confusion on what this book is about… i am well over halfway into the book and it has, so far, not much to do with the subject suggested by the subtitle… “The Emergence of Technology Beyond Programmable Control”… there have been a few hints of the development of digital technology, but otherwise the book has been a recounting of history and individuals, sometimes with connection to the advancement of digital technology, sometimes not, oft times only peripheral connection… i assume this will make sense at some point, but it doesn’t just yet…

… i keep reading and reading and reading, expecting that any moment the main point of the book as rendered in the subtitle will make its way to the fore front… it just doesn’t… it’s all anecdotes and quasi related history… very little about digital information processing technology… perhaps making a point about how one can live with and on the land without all that technology… it’s enjoyable reading, but a little baffling… is the author putting us through a set of analog experiences before unleashing the digital overtaking of those experiences???… hard to know… hard to see what the endgame will be…

First Thoughts

… R and J go back to the West Coast… just M and me for the next week… then, M will be on her own… that will be a difficult place for her i am guessing…

… went to the beach to have dinner… watched the sunset…

… weighed in, 227.0 lbs… good news… was a little worried that i have gained in the past week…

… the HCR meter pointing decidedly down… a discussion of the Texas fetal heartbeat abortion law… a discussion about how similar laws could undermine civil rights… the whole situation awful…

… J up… i thought i heard M too…

First Thoughts

… more drinking last night… not as bad as the other night…

… a dream about LS last night… a dream about toying with the idea of an affair with them… we both wanted it… i was resisting it because i was married… i was resisting it because i knew it would get complicated…

… having some political conversations with M… at least they don’t get really angry… they are firmly in the Fox silo though… i suppose i look like i am firmly in the MSNBC silo to them… important to work with facts… M is possibly fungible on their conservativism… R and J stayed largely out of it…

… hauled most of D’s stuff to Goodwill… some more today…

… R is not sure he wants the Rolex watch either…

… we uncovered another camera… a pretty fancy for its time Minolta… google searches determine that none of the equipment is particularly valuable presently and that the lenses are outperformed by today’s lenses though current lenses are not built as well… just finished reading a review that claims the Maxxum is one of the best film cameras ever made… that is not necessarily concurred with by other reviewers… of the cameras i have inherited, the two film cameras are most interesting and perhaps i will find some film and use them to whatever effect they are capable of…

… i am sitting here feeling very warm…

… HCR meeter slightly downward to slightly upward… a discussion of the history of anti-abortion politics that began when Nixon wanted the Catholic vote which normally went Democratic… abortion was made an issue to divide that constituency and win elections… she points out that the country is fairly unified on the issue and wants Roe V. Wade to stand… that it is a minority driving it as a wedge issue that wins elections… she suggests that there will be considerable blowback around the Texan anti-abortion legislation passed yesterday… let’s hope so… i, for one, will abandon any ideas i had about traveling to Texas until they undo the legislation insanity they have recently embarked on…

George Dyson, Analogia: The Emergence of Technology Beyond Programmable Control

… i am one and a half chapters into the book… i am learning about the first modern Russians to cross the Bearing Straits and explore the Pacific Northwest of the Americas… i am learning about the European settler overrun of the West and the Native American population that had called it home for thousands of years… i am learning about very early communication technology that permitted the coordination of troops across large stretches of land…

… really interesting how much of a lesson in the history of suppression of Native American populations the book is… other than the opportunity it afforded to develop the precursor digital transmission technology, there seems little reason for the inclusion of so much historical detail… i wonder if i will learn the reason later on… and then this:

We have to regard the Universe,” he concluded, “not as a collection of Things or Events existing apart from any awareness of them by observers, but as manifested Thoughts in a Universal Mind¹

… which dovetails nicely into panpsychism though with leanings towards a Christian sprituality…

… reading about Marconi, Fleming and the development of transatlantic signaling and the vacuum tube…

… and now the development of theoretical physics, nuclear energy, and the atom bomb…

First Thoughts

… in bed at 9:30, up at 4:30, about 7 hours… not bad, woke up once…

… yesterday we bagged up all D’s clothing and sorted through their things… each of us taking what fit, what we wanted, which in my case is not much as little fit and D’s tastes were more conservative than mine… R got sad and had to go off by themselves for a while… i found it more interesting than sad… D had a lot of clothes… two big closets… and everything was new or showed negligible amounts of wear… i wear things pretty much till they wear out… i have two or three pairs of pants, maybe four… D had at least 20 pairs of jeans, two or three times that amount of shirts, a number of belts equal to the number of jeans… some jeans had their particular belts installed in the loops, ready to be put on… today we haul it all off to Good Will…

… lots of texting with H… big rains in Beacon… the remnants of Ida passing through… H has been experiencing many frustrations since i left and said they are depressed… they are depressed a lot lately it seems to me… i hope it lifts…

… HCR meter pointing hard down… about laws being signed into existence in Texas that will likely make it impossible for women to get an abortion and will set up “vigilante” citizens as the enforcers… what could go wrong with that?… another law legalizes concealed carry of weapons without a permit… another law limits voting rights and permits partisan patrolling of voting stations where voters can now be intimidated by gun toting zealots… what could go wrong with that?… even worse, the Supreme court has refused to knock down these strategies… has refused to even hear arguments on them… has refused even to issue justice opinions on them… they are largely being carried out on the “shadow” docket… so now we have another thing the Biden/Harris administration must deal with in the next year and two months… we are a country in decline, and radical conservatives are a circling band of hyenas… i am thinking i will boycot Texas unless sanity gets restored there…