So, the strawberries are normal to large size. The blueberries are giants. And swee too!
… don’t know if i have shared this before… but it bears repeating even if i have…
Widespread cultural acceptance of lying is a primary reason many of us will never know love. It is impossible to nurture one’s own or another’s spiritual growth when the core of one’s being and identity is shrouded in secrecy and lies. (bell hooks, All About Love)
From Passive to Active Trans-feminine
Organisms don’t just passively wait, then, for a lucky accident or resign themselves to dying out, but actively remodel themselves in response to changes in their environment. (Iain McGilchrist, The Matter With Things)
… i read this today in the light of my own “remodeling,” which is a remodeling of my outward bodily landscape to align with my trans-feminine psychological landscape… my understanding of self internally, manifested to the surface of my body, with the knock on effect of changing the way i am interpreted by family, friends, acquaintances and strangers…
… what McGilchrist has in mind here is the ability of organisms to change their biological characteristics on the fly… he is also adamant that we have to consider all manifestations in the cosmos as interconnected and part of a cosmic flow…
… i wonder, can my trans-feminine evolution be viewed as a response to a changing environment?… can i consider it both a psychological and a physical evolution?…
… yes and yes…
… the basic reason is that my psychology is intimately bound with my biology… the two are not separable… and the changes brought about in my level of happiness or despair have to be both psychological and biological…
… what changes in environment might i be responding to?…
… the political environment became more toxically masculine than ever in the past decade… an enormous amount of stress has been put on my liberal stance… i have great worries that the tolerance i believe in will be displaced with intolerance… my response with trans-feminine presentation is an act of defiance that, in retrospect, seems necessary… challenge the intolerance with the thing it fears most…
… my very intolerant father died three years ago now, which is no small factor in the release of my feminine, something that disturbed him greatly even when it was only long hair…
… i am in a phase of life (retired) that means i don’t have to care what people think of me…
… i am in a phase of life where one either ossifies and withers, or one continues to evolve… i choose to evolve…
… because i am so much happier with my being in this world… feel so much more complete and whole in my being in this world… i believe there are biological changes going on in response to the changes in how i feel about myself…
This completely flips on its head the typical narrative we tell ourselves in the US about our massive levels of production and consumption, which are normally heralded as symbols of success and progress, signs that we are exceptional, blessed, doing things right. They are instead revealed as signs that something is very wrong, as indicators of tremendous sadness, disconnect, fear, lack of meaning. (Jeff Golden, Reclaiming the Sacred)
The real problem isn’t that it’s difficult to decide who owns culture; it’s that the very idea of ownership is the wrong model. The Copyright Clause of the United States Constitution supplies a plausible reason for creating ownership of words and ideas… But the arts progressed perfectly well in the world’s traditional cultures without these protections; and the traditional products and practices of a group—its songs and stories, even its secrets—are not best understood as its property, or made more useful by being tethered to their putative origins. (Kwame Anthony Appiah, The Lies That Bind)
Gratitude for my Feminine
Lucy Sante writing about her transition to womanhood…
I don’t hate myself anymore, am no longer apologetic for my very existence. I walk with pride. I feel exceptionally fortunate, grateful to whatever force cracked my egg before it was too late. I was saved from drowning. (Lucy Sante, I Heard Her Call My Name)
… i feel this sort of gratitude for being able to express myself femininely, though i don’t think i ever felt i was drowning… what i now recognize is that my self expression had been contained in a way that kept me from reaching a point of full happiness with who i was and what i was expressing… the joy that has found me since claiming the right to wear skirts, dresses, flowery things, lipstick, nail polish and all the other feminine things i am excitedly exploring, is enormous… i move through the world with a kind of confidence that i have had only intermittently in the past… the present confidence is much more continuous… i am grateful to a community that has embraced me enthusiastically in my new presentation… this has been decisive in solidifying the confidence i now have to be as i want to be…
Genderless
A body in immense pain can feel genderless, its status as a site of hurt more meaningful in the white-hot and blinding torrent of sensation brought on by a punch or kick or cut than its official designation as a body that is sexed. (Philippa Snow, Which as You Know Means Violence)
… this… that bodies have states of being that are genderless… when the pain is too much… when the pleasure is all consuming… when the world is incomprehensible… there are these places of intensity we occupy in a genderless way…
Cornucopia…
New additions to my mandala series…
Pet peeve…
The sticker on the right removes easily… the sticker on the left takes the skin of the apple with it. The left side sticker is applied by the grocery store. I hate them with a passion.
Particularly liked this one from this morning…
Choosing Among Immoralities
Do you have access to wealth and the creation of more of it? Or must you sell your time, your body, and your labor for even the minimal means of your survival? (Rhyd Wildermuth, Here Be Monsters)
… i have been thinking about the morality of being an American, with a middle to upper middle class level of wealth and consumption and, therefore, responsibility for global oppression structures and destruction of the planet… liberal friends who are certain that Donald Trump is evil, might sit out the vote in November because it would be immoral to support Vice President Harris… in their minds, she shares responsibility with President Biden for failing to force Israel to stop it’s Palestinian genocide… this is a luxury they will permit themselves because they live in a state that will reliably vote Democrat and send all its electoral college votes to Harris/Walz… in the meantime they live a comfortable upper middle class existence in America and don’t much question its impact on the globe and its peoples… they also don’t see the importance of making sure Donald Trump is defeated, not narrowly, but massively at every level… what should i say to them?… or do they have an argument i should listen to?…
Lately I’ve been feeling very alone on Micro.blog. My posts are mostly ignored. I post a variety of things, so it can’t all be uninteresting. This place makes me sad more than it makes me happy. Don’t know what to do about that.
An intriguing addition to my Everyday Mandala series…
We went with friends to the [Hammond Museum and Japanese Gardens]((https://www.hammondmuseum.org) yesterday…
… we then had lunch at Purdy’s The Farmer and the Fish which was excellent!
A random encounter on the street…
… a man, tall, lanky, in his late 40’s, early 50’s, calls out to me as i am walking down Elm street to Main Street… he is sitting on top of a picnic table under a tree with a cup of coffee… i can’t make out what he is saying at first and ask him to repeat… he tells me he respects LGBTQ people and that Jesus welcomes everyone to the table… i thank him for his words of support… “God bless you!” he says as i move on… i an a little surprised… i had not thought i was presenting so obviously it could be seen from a distance… still, i am happy to be recognized as LGBTQ… later on, i pass him on Main Street… i have observed him righting a trash can that had been tipped over during the night… he asks me if i tipped it over and says you people up from the city need to be more respectful… i tell him that i live in Beacon and that i didn’t do it… he reaches his hand out and tells me his name is Danny and that he’s lived his whole life in the house with the yellow shutters on Elm street… i have never seen him before… i tell him my name and that i live around the corner from him on Dewindt street… he goes back to expressing his acceptance of LGBTQ people… he tells me he thinks we are angels, we all have wings on our backs… “I hope so,” i say… he says, “i know so,”… i wish him a good day and move on…
From this morning’s walk…
Everlane is having an end of summer sale. I scored the skirt, dress and blouse (without the shorts) at substantial discount. I am a big Everlane fan. Their clothing is well made, reasonably priced (even before sale markdown), and the company centers sustainability in their products and shipping. And, they have plus sizing for most garments.
At the same time I am shopping these elegant heels…
… my wife is shopping for the ever fashionable combat boots to go with her jeans and leather biker jacket… there seems to be a bit of gender role reversal going on.
Rather like this selfie from this morning…
… this version too!
An individual, like a people, like a continent, dies out when he shrinks from both rash plans and rash acts, when, instead of taking risks and hurling himself toward being, he cowers within it, takes refuge there: a metaphysics of regression, a retreat to the primordial! (E. M. Cioran and Richard Howard, The Temptation to Exist)
August 27, 2024 - by Heather Cox Richardson
“For those counting,” legal analyst Andrew Weismann wrote, “FIVE separate grand juries (scores of citizens) have now found probable cause that Trump committed multiple felonies.”
From this morning’s walk… trying out a new “film” pack in Hipstamatic…
What I Expected, What I Got | In Opposition
The most pleasant surprise of all, however, has been the number of people who have gone out of their way to affirm my feminine forward presentation. A neighbor from a few doors up was driving by and stopped to tell me he thought I had been rocking my outfits lately. Another neighbor I often pass during early morning walks told me she thought my outfits had been really cute lately. A vender in the farmer’s market told me she had been noticing me for a while and that she loved my style.
From this morning’s walk…
