… we celebrate veterans today… thank you for your service…

…feeling frustrated… slept late… unable to pursue the morning routine fully… more interruption later today… the prime issue is the increasing difficulty i have staying focused on photography and writing… so many interruptions at a time in my life when i ought to be able to say no to most of them… there is little that i have to do… the beauty of not having to actively produce an income…

… as i walked this morning, i wondered why i feel compelled to title my posts… this blog is Notes On Attention Paid, is it not?… notes don’t need titles… notes only need tagging for significant content i may want to revisit down the road…

… i am in Big Mouth Coffee this AM… i haven’t been here since the pandemic became a thing… it stays empty and people widely dispersed… it’s a big space… easy to keep distant… coffee is good too… BM moves high on the list of places to stop in and get warm during the winter…

… squealing jazz music playing… unlike the quasi corporate music in Kitchen and Coffee… i get the impression employees are permitted to choose the music… it makes the place more idiosyncratic…

… M sends the usual morning text except they report falling in the bathroom last night… not good… they don’t sound hurt… nothing broken they report… still, they are senior and living alone… i am wondering if they need some kind of Life Alert system to call for help if they need it… will have to discuss with J this afternoon…

… up at 5 AM… an hour later than i like… this jams me up on the things i like to do prior to heading out for a walk…

… there is research that suggests there are heart benefits to going to bed between 10 and 11… i have been trying that but i am not sure it is working for me… i had been going to bed between 9 and 10 with the desire to be up by 4 AM… this gives me a good amount of time to write and read in the morning… so maybe that is my rhythm… i’ve always been early to bed and early to rise…

… an exhausting day devoted to errands for the household… i have been very frustrated with the way activities that are not photography, reading and writing are intruding an hours devoted to those things… it has been a real struggle lately to keep that from happening… today, J will claim a certain amount of my time… tomorrow, a friend for dinner, which will require an early start on dinner prep… sigh… there are times when i’d like to take off to a cabin in the woods and hibernate… i’m quite good at being alone…

… HCR meter, ominous rumblings in Europe… Russia threatening Ukraine… Russia and Belarus pumping immigrants into Poland in an effort to inflame right wing dissidents and destabilize the region…

… i was thinking about the benefits of having lived in a pretty stable country… there have been times of unrest, but generally speaking, the average citizen could go about their business and depend on the world around them to behave pretty much the way it did the day before… there are so many people around the world for whom that isn’t true… what must be the loss in human product and accomplishment?… are we heading into a time where the world will twist and turn in ways we can’t possibly predict?… where faith in anything is impossible?…

… Cape Malay Pickled Fish for dinner last night… two days of marination in pickling juices… it was tasty… not clear that i would go to the trouble again… maybe…

… i did a search for recipes for CMPF and discovered a bunch of them… it appears i used the only recipe (from Martha Stewart), that fries the fish after marinating in the pickling juices for a couple of days… every other recipe cooks the fish before marinating… hmmm… i now have to cook this again…

… feeling happy again… my writing and photography are making sense this morning…

… a moment of terror… big vicious sounding dog approaching from behind… starts snarling and barking… thank the cosmos it’s behind the fence i walk along…

… i decided before walking out the door that today would be halfway up Mt. Beacon day… the potential symbolism of doing so on a Wednesday, aka “hump day,” is not lost on me…

… thinking about the Salon last night… the work of one photographer occupied the space between time lapse and detailed investigation of lake terrain… it wasn’t either, though intent seemed to be the former, not the latter… i think of the Movie Smoke and the photographic series Harvey Keitel’s character made…

… i made it to my usual spot… stream burble-gurgles by with a hissing undertone…

… i make a series of selfies…

… i like my look this AM…

**colored leaves flutter to the ground– distant jet plane sound

… a review of Titane in Hyperallergic… i wonder if H will be interested?…

Hilma af Klint, “Tree of Knowledge, No. 3” (1913-1915), watercolor, gouache, graphite, and ink on paper, 17 7/8 x 11 5/8 inches.

… on view at David Zwirner Gallery…

_ Though little known during her lifetime and for decades after, Swedish artist Hilma af Klint (1862–1944) has come to be recognized as one of the most important and inventive artists of the twentieth century. When she began making vibrant, symbolic paintings as early as 1906, her work was radically unlike anything that had come before, and preceded the abstract work of artists such as Wassily Kandinsky, Piet Mondrian, and Kazimir Malevich by several years._¹

… a selection of edited images from the past ten days…

… this morning it starts to feel like the downhill race to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year… the middle of Week 46, less than seven weeks to go…

… HCR meter encouraging… the case for holding 45 accountable is being built, slowly, steadily… the Trumpublicans get crazier and crazier… Representative Gosar only the latest iteration of bat shit crazy with his tweeted anime wherein he decapitates(?) AOC… there is justifiable outrage… all the Trumpers in congress care about is disciplining the 13 congress men and women who voted for the infrastructure bill, a broadly popular bill that their states all desperately need… absolute loyalty to the party is all they care about… it is a necessary condition for authoritarian rule… this quote from Liz Cheney is amazing:

_ “In this time of testing, will we do our duty? Will we do what we must? Will we defend our Constitution? Will we stand for truth? Will we put duty to our oath above partisan politics? Or will we look away from the danger, ignore the threat, embrace the lies and enable the liar?”_ she said. “There is no gray area when it comes to that question. When it comes to this moment, there is no middle ground.”¹

… i am in love with Liz Cheney… a politician with strong integrity… i suspect i disagree with most of her politics, but on the issue of where we are and what we need to do she is bang on…

… i continue to struggle with refining what i am doing photographically… struggle is probably too strong a word… i am evolving and refining what i am doing…

… oh my, did i finally turn off autocapitalize?… it seems i did!… so exciting… no more having to escape capitalization!…

… back to what sort of photographer am i?… i have begun to center on the iPhone as my camera of daily choice… easier, lighter, and damn, image quality is getting so good!… this, coupled with the very easy workflow of native camera app to Ulysses to Micro.blog has pushed me in the direction of publishing photos as i go, without editing, without careful selection of images to include… photography (and writing) of-the-now… i am publishing photographs in color, some of which i later import into Lightroom, turn to black and white and edit more careful in general… i have decided to be increasingly selective with that group, while maintaining a broader selection on the iPhone photo app… in color… part of me wanted to share color photographs with the Salon last night… instead i prepared a selection of images in black and white from the past ten days… i did not present them as there were an abundance of photographers wanting to show their work, but i reviewed that set several times and i feel good about it…

… so, the practice is evolving as both an of-the-now practice and one that then filters the of-the-now body of work into a more considered body of work with a focused and edited sensibility to it… this is the body that will coalesce into portfolios, book projects, photo poems…

… H wound up in a much better mood yesterday afternoon and evening… they went for a walk with Chas, an idea they sneered at when i suggested it in the morning… “it’s boring, my back hurts” they told me… they did the dishes while i was Zooming with my Salon buddies… i have this nagging question about yesterday morning… did they, for some reason, conscious or not, feel the need to torpedo my good mood and high spirits?… they did an excellent job of it… i can’t help but wonder…

… on the alcohol front… last couple of nights i have limited myself to beer… this seems to be working out… no mildly debilitating effects the morning after… for some reason, perhaps its volume of liquid, i am not as prone to overdoing it with beer… and last night’s meal was kielbasa roasted on a bed of onion, red pepper and red cabbage, glazed with peach preserve and mustard, served with mashed potatoes… beer was a perfect accompaniment, though Corona might not have been the perfect beer for the meal…

… large black pickup truck waiting at the light… country music… muffler disabled… jacked up chassis… truck bed filled with tires…

… grizzled old man in watch cap, cigarette dangling from mouth, peddling a bicycle, sidewalk too narrow, i step aside, as he passes i think he belongs in a back alley bar of a seaport town…

… i pass Mr. and Mrs. Clause out for their morning constitutional… i have been passing them on my walks for years… i don’t know their names, but he especially looks like Santa Clause and she makes a suitable Mrs. Clause…

… i am walking out 52.. in the summer, walking this direction puts the sun in my eyes so i don’t… now, the sunrise has moved south and cuts perpendicularly across the road, making photographs and seeing easier…

… the sort of truck that was filled with tires and had no muffler…

… sitting in Trax coffee shop now… people coming and going in ones or twos for coffee to go… i am the only one staying… this is the least populated in the morning coffee shop on any of my routes so i favor it… still COVID shy even though vaccinated and boostered…

… feeling pretty good this morning… only two beers last night… went to bed a little before 9, fell asleep quickly, slept till a little before 4 AM… i feel rested…

… back home… breakfast finished… breakfast chat with H demoralizing… me telling H it’s a beautiful day, i am in a good mood, everyone i encountered was in a good mood, happy… why not?… sunny, warm, beautiful fall day… H says how frustrated they are… they never get what they want… they have no control over their life… they can’t get into a car and just drive somewhere (they don’t drive, would probably be a danger to self and others if they did)… they can’t spend their money the way they want, etc. etc. etc… they pull back on the last one, modify it to soften it but the damage is done… they are the bread winner, have been for large parts of our partnership… i become a casualty of their angry frustration… my good mood destroyed… could they not stand my good mood while they wallow in misery?… in retrospect, it seems deliberate even if subconscious… are they really that angry with me?… i give and give and give to them in all the ways i am able, it is never enough…

… i retreat to my studio, close the door, put on my headphones and start writing… i am churning with anger and despair now… WTF?!… i am busted… i had hoped for productive preparation for tonight’s Salon… was actually looking forward to putting something together… i will do best i can…

… later now… H in a better mood… they had tea with a friend and went for a walk with Chas… i don’t think they know how i was affected by them this morning… they did take my advice to get out for a walk, even if a short one…

… i did manage to pull some work together for presentation… not quite what i was imagining but i am suspended between working in color and working in black and white… being immediate to the blog dictates, for now, color… black and white is where my creative heart lies…

… one of my favorite photography review writers… he rants about life and politics then reviews photography books and portfolios… he shares some of his own photography too…

… this week there is no review… just the sharing of a crazy experience when he trespassed on property and wound up with a loaded gun in his face…

… trespassing is something i rarely do… i don’t care if the photograph will be magical… mostly it is because i am a live within the boundaries sort of guy… if it is someone else’s private property, i don’t cross the line unless invited to do so… it makes me nervous even to point a camera across the line, but i often do…

… i am the same way about photographing strangers on the street… i am anger and rejection averse…

… at any rate… glad you survived JB… may you keep posting for years to come…

… been a few days since i have had time to read the diaries… when i left off, DW’s relationship with Eric is in the infatuation stage… he seems so young, he is in his 20’s, but he seems almost childlike in his racing about the countryside on his bicycle… he mentions something called a ha-ha… i look it up… a wall set in a ditch so as not to interrupt the vista…

… DW and E spent part of their lives in close proximity without meeting… it reminds me of H and i… we spent our teenage years in towns separated by a few miles… frequented some of the same spots… possibly were in those spots at the same time… but we were not to meet one another until much later… i too wish we had met earlier… would we have even liked each other?… i was immature for my age for a long time…

… E has been away but then comes home… they are reunited and the world closes in around their new relationship bliss…

… DW describes a watch he is given by a friend on his birthday… i remember a watch i was given or encouraged to buy by M, back in the day… i don’t remember if a birthday was involved…

It is happiness to have things liked, but when I’m ill as I was on Wednesday and other days lately everything pales to nothing and I want to die more than anything on earth.

I think all I can do is keep my work going as long as I can. And if I can no longer, then will I die.

… this is the primal condition for most of us… as long as we work, have something meaningful to do, are able to do it… we live… when we can’t, we proceed to the departure lounge… i keep thinking that before i get to that lounge i want to have understood what life is all about… i want it’s profound truth(s) to have been revealed to me… i have been earnest for so long… i feel life owes me that… but of course… it doesn’t…

… enough DW for this morning…

… frustration and irritation yesterday… too many intrusions on time set aside for writing and photographing… too much to do to acquire groceries, cook meals, maintain house and yard… too little help from H… i am determined to hold my creative time sacred and inviolable…

… and, on the creative front… i am moving towards something new yet old, something i know the broad outlines of, if not the specifics… i am continuously refining it… making clearer what i am doing… the major elements of it are the Notes On Attention Paid blog, the concentration on the phone camera as principle camera… the development of a new workflow centered on the smartphone, Micro.blog, Ulysses, a writing, walking and reading practice… working against that system is my weakening eyesight… what i really want to do is edit on the iPhone exclusively, but it is difficult with my aging eyes… i have grown tired of the cumbersome Lightroom… i have begun thinking that editing photographs to the nth degree is a waste of my time in the system of make and post possible with the camera phone… i have all of this camera equipment that i no longer seem to need… this new way of producing and delivering is, interestingly, allowing me to bring to fruition what has been at the core of my effort all along… a daily cataloging of observation… nothing more… nothing less… and it is rendered on the www… the complex of tools has finally fallen into place for a seamless and efficient workflow…

… HCR meter, the shit show that is the Republican Party… generally it is a race to see whether they implode or seize control of the government for the rest of my life… Big Bird is a villain for promoting vaccinations for children which they have done since the 70’s… conservatives are currently dying from COVID at more than three times the rate of liberals… the result of conservative anti vaccination stance… i wonder if it will have any impact on elections?… conservatives are already dealing with a minority of the population for support… justice department announces indictments on ransome ware criminals and seize their ill gotten gains… it is one year until the midterm elections and there is so much to do… will voting rights ever become a priority?…

… cold, clear, heavy frost…

… walking over the bridge at the train station i note that there are few cars in the parking lot at 7:15 AM… before the pandemic it would have been full… i wonder if it will ever fill by 7 again or has the pandemic shifted things permanently?…

… a hillock fenced in to protect the grass on the ridge… people walk the ridge to get a higher vantage point on the river… if i were managing the park i would remove the hillock or find a way to make walking the ridge without damage possible… when they remove the fence, as they will, the cycle will repeat…

… reflection of a plane high above…

… alien tree, river

… i pass a man, tall, late 40’s, mustache, knit cap, sweatshirt, jeans, steaming cup of coffee… we exchange greetings…

… down by the river…

… thinking about my first thoughts post this AM… thinking i am getting a sense of how to develop in the direction of meaningful contemplation…

… an older woman passes me dragged forward by a smallish dog worthy of being in a Tim Burton animation… fish jumps in the river… the rhythmic crunch of walker’s footsteps…

… i continue to think i want to do a final thoughts at the end of the day… make a cup of camomile tea… pen a few thoughts… lights out… most dependent on whether there is alcohol or not…

… car stopped on the bridge… music blasting out through the open sun roof… bearded dude leaning against the concrete railing… lighting up a cigarette… jeans, jean jacket… i say good morning… he nods minimally… i am a little suspicious, a little creeped out… fantasy of him walking up behind me and putting a bullet through my brain as i walk past…

… breakfast and then H and i both turn to home cooking, H backing bread, i pickle fish… ceviche for tonight… Cape Malay pickled fish for a couple days from now…

… and then ceviche…

… the final product…

… and now to bed…

… i am up at 3:30 AM… the effects of the daylight savings change… it will settle out, but i again ask why do we do this to ourselves?… an article on whether DST saves energy is inconclusive… it saves electricity consumed for lights, but may increase electricity and other fuels consumed to heat and cool… is it worth the disruption of sleep cycles?… can’t we find another way to adjust ourselves?… like start work an hour earlier and stop an hour earlier?… don’t most of us work 24/7 anyway?… aren’t more of us working from home now?…

… i read an article that suggests 45 is the odds-on favorite to win the presidency in 2024… dear god how is it possible?… bookmakers, please check your calculations again… i really don’t know what i will do if that happens…

… are we really being pushed to authoritarianism because it is more efficient?… were the Middle Ages really efficient for humankind?…

… an article discussing Texas law SB8… something about judicial immunity from law suits hampering the clear cut argument that the vigilante provisions of the law are a dangerous precedent that has the potential to undermine constitutional rights in a variety of ways… something about enjoining their clerks from working on enforcement of the law rather than judges… i didn’t completely understand…

… all of this on top of not feeling well… kind of tired… maybe it’s alcohol, though i don’t believe i overindulged last night… it does seem to sap me… just doesn’t agree with my system anymore?…

… started watching Rake, an Australian series featuring a rakish lawyer surrounded by a complex of beautiful, smart and accomplished women who frequently bare their breasts (along with the men in the show, but a man’s bare breast is way less interesting than a woman’s to me)…

… if i am honest, i am in it for the beautiful women characters who bare their breasts first, the story telling second… did i mention that the women characters are also smart and accomplished?…

… the story lines are interesting, the main characters all have redeeming virtues to balance their flaws, and there is a gamut of reasonably well rendered human complexity offered up… but denying i am powerfully attracted by the titillation is the same as saying one buys Playboy for the articles (does anyone still say that? Does Playboy still exist in any meaningful way?)… yes, there may be good articles, but really, it’s the tits and ass that matters…

… i come up against this uncomfortable truth over and over and over again… to the point where i throw up my hands in frustration at what to do… i know that society’s continued emphasis on women’s bodies is a mess of objectification that does women general harm in their efforts to be taken seriously as smart and accomplished individuals… but there is this primal thing… i am hardwired to be sexually attracted to women i think are beautiful… the mechanics of it are different for the two sexes (and i will leave aside for the moment all the gender fluid nuances that exist), but the bottom line is primal attraction is primal and it is not possible to eradicate it from my being…

… i can try not to be drawn into programming and imagery that gets my libido going, but why?… i enjoy having my libido engaged… it feels good… as long as it involves adults portrayed consensually and in consensual engagement, and as long as i am able to separate fantasy from reality, i set myself free to be titillated without guilt…

… i am coming to the conclusion that it is best not to try to ban libidinous reactions from my mind (not that i have ever really tried)… nor do i think i should be embarrassed by it (which i sometimes am)… instead, i need to acknowledge to myself how powerful they are, take note of when and how they are activated, then let them move through like clouds in the sky, enjoyed simply for what they are…

… what matters to me is how i treat women (all human beings really, but women are the focus here)… acknowledging my initial primal reaction (to myself) and then letting it pass through is, as far as i can see, my best strategy for moving on to a more respectful and satisfying relationship with the women i share the planet with…

… out for my morning meditative photo walk… R texts about family meeting… we chat some… they tell me J is really into photography, that they want to be a photographer for non-profit social benefit entities… they want to travel… i say J can come visit anytime, that hopefully i will get out to see them soon, that in the meantime i will share some websites that they might find interesting…

… i am in Kitchen and Coffee again this morning… i got here earlier… not as crowded yet… the music and decor are comfortably inoffensive to anyone’s sensibilities, unless you hate vanilla moderne decor…

… i am again the oldest human in the cafe by far… lots of young voices chattering away…

… need to put together photos for Salon on Tuesday…

… it’s so white in here… i think, that is what slightly disturbs me… it’s corporate patriarchal white…

… sitting in the living room watching bread baking how to videos by Sune the Food Geek… H’s pandemic skill is bread baking, especially sour dough… H belongs to a bread baking group that Sune belongs to and communicates with them directly…

… the end of a busy Sunday… Fiona with her head in my lap… Chas comfortably ensconced in the chair across the room… not sure where Rubie (the cat, named after the Harry Potter character, Rubeus Hagrid) is…

📷

… AKA, HCR meter…

… in this morning’s post, HCR reports that Republicans immediately intensified the branding of Democrats as Socialists upon the passage of the bi-partisan infrastructure bill… she points out, as she has several times in the past, that what Republicans mean by Socialism has little to do with Socialism as a governing system which the American people, Republicans and Democrats, have never come close to endorsing…

… what Republicans actually mean by “Socialism” is anything that, in their opinion, redistributes wealth through taxation to benefit those without wealth… this dates back to the post civil war era when, initially white southerns, but eventually white northerners too, reacted to former slaves, now free men (women don’t get the right to vote for another 53 years) having the right to vote, which they did in large numbers, electing numerous African American legislators who promptly pursued the interests of their communities by getting money allocated for roads, schools, etc… find her more complete rendering of the history of Socialism branding here…

… the clocks set back an hour last night… an extra hour of sleep… that used to be more meaningful when working full time… less so now… still, i took advantage of it and feel groggy this morning…

… dogs let out, treated, watered… they have gone back to bed with H…

… i crank up Bach’s Goldberg Variations… played on harpsichord by Maggie Cole… i think about C, who’s partner is a highly trained classical musician… i think about the northwest and about the book Analogia, by George Dyson… i think about mysterious things happening in wild cold forests…

… not a huge fan of the harpsichord… but it’s ok this morning… i am actually liking it… most of the time it seems a bit shrill and fussy to me… i like the rounder tones of the piano better…

… i read about Maggie Cole… white woman looking slightly aristocratic… am i thinking so because she is a classical musician and classical music is of the white patriarchy, aristocracy?… in addition to harpsichord she plays the pianoforte and the piano… she teaches… she performs… she records… the Goldberg Variations are a specialty…

… i think about zeroing in on the harpsichord, and then the Goldberg Variations (or was it the Variations first, the harpsichord second?) for expertise development… what must it be like to live this music in your head all the time?… what must it be like to find yourself in the settings conducive to its practice and performance?… the cosmos accessed through a narrowly defined pathway… what has she come to understand about all of it through the music?…

… M texts… they are up early… the time change… habits need to shift… sunrise earlier… sunset earlier… no, those things happen on the same schedule all year round cosmically… it is the humans that don’t… the humans adjust their time keepers to shift their relationship to sunrise and sunset… all things are relative to the earthly clock!… the reason, apparently, is to save energy… i am not clear how it does this… couldn’t we more naturally adjust ourselves to come and go during the available daylight?… i could do without it… it seems an unnecessary inefficiency in the human condition…

… did some cleaning up of the planter tanks yesterday, installed a hoop system that will be covered with frost protective fabric for the winter… will also mulch things in a little… hoping to preserve the herbs through the winter… the sage, thyme and oregano all made it through the winter last year… rosemary is new as is tarragon… hoping i can get them through this winter…

… i also swept up the natural detritus in the driveway, bagged it and put it out at the curb for the town to pick up… and, importantly, i reinforced the fence line where Fiona has been finding her way out of the yard… i have done this for a quarter of the perimeter of the yard at least over the past year…

… today i am thinking i will work on finishing the back stair…

… there is also the daily walk, the farmer’s market, the weekly family zoom…

Published in The Bulwark, November 04, 2021

… a review by Laura K. Field of The Constitution of Knowledge, by Jonathan Rauch… the book is an argument for the supremacy of “liberal science” as arbiter of objective truth… Field broadly accepts the premise but objects to its, in her opinion, proposed hegemony of liberal science over all other ways of processing and assessing reality… she quotes “Rauch’s bold claim:”

You have to check your own claims and subject them to contestation from others; you have to tolerate the competing claims of others; you have to accept that your own certainty counts for nothing; you have to forswear claiming that your god, your experience, your intuition, or your group is epistemically privileged; you have to defend the exclusive legitimacy of liberal science even (in fact, especially) when you think it is wrong or unfair. (Page 91)

… and suggests the following rewrite:

You have to check your own claims and subject them to contestation from others; you have to tolerate the competing claims of others; you have to accept that even your own feelings of certainty are fallible; you have to honestly admit that you do believe your mode of engagement to be epistemically privileged (and be able to give reasons why), while at the same time sustaining a radical openness to counterarguments from any and all quarters, even (in fact, especially) when you think it is wrong or unfair.

… i like her proposed changes… it’s a statement of principal that i can and do live by, with varying degrees of success, like any fallible human being…

… i have several related thoughts…

… i remember Kellyanne Conway’s statement, “Facts don’t matter. What people believe matters.”… one of the greatest political truths ever spoken… much as i loath her politics and involvement in aiding and abetting 45, this one statement is both profound honesty and profound truth… i respect her for it… extended a bit further… at the end of the day, for most of us, any truth we claim certainty about is, at bottom, a belief founded on the work and ideas of others… nobody has time to completely investigate and verify all of the “truths” by which they lead their daily lives…

… the second thought flashing through my mind is about the story of Nosferatu as told by Werner Herzog in his movie Nosferatu the Vampyre… in his telling of the story, Nosferatu arrives to suck the blood of unfortunate citizens of Wismar Germany… he brings the plague with him… the heroine, Lucy, tries to persuade the scientific/technocratic authorities that Count Dracula is the problem… they dismiss her… she subsequently sacrifices herself to bring about his demise… the ultimate sacrifice which, unfortunately, is only a victory over the immediate pestilence… science and bureaucratic institutions are not up to the challenge… however, neither is purity and self sacrifice…

… coffee made… dogs let out and treated… Gregorian chants cranked up…

… i had two modest cocktails last night… went to bed feeling a little headachy… woke up feeling the same… it appears i don’t tolerate alcohol anymore… at least, not very much of it… a good thing?…

… we watched Dune last night… wonderful film though it ends abruptly… it ends the way the premier of a new series might end, with a clear promise there will be more… the story is far from told to completion and i think i now understand why it simultaneously appeared on HBO… because it is going to be a series… the next Game of Thrones?…

… it reminded me of the sci-fi series Raised By Wolves… Dune had very similar vibes in the way the story played out and the cinematography…

… we enjoyed J’s visit yesterday… they seem generally ok, though i got the feeling there is struggling going on there… they put a good face on it… but… they have a new car… a CRV… they are leasing… they have half the income we do and we stretch a bit to afford ours… hmmm…

… well below freezing last night… the last components of my freeze protection system for the planter tanks arrived… hoping it’s not too late for the rosemary… trying to see if i can overwinter it…

… been feeling a little like i am catching a cold… have been spending time in cafe’s as the cold weather arrives… trying to see where my winter get warm quarters will be… Kitchen and Coffee gets too busy too early… still not comfortable with indoor environments with numbers of people…

… HCR meter this morning upbeat… unemployment report way better than expected… half a million new jobs, unemployment rate down to 4.6, a number the Congressional Budget Office projected wouldn’t be reached until the end of 2023… and, the hard infrastructure bill passed congress last night and will go to President Biden to be signed into law… a handful of Republicans even voted for it… the soft infrastructure bill is still being negotiated… moderates have promised progressives in writing that they will work with them towards the passage of the reconciliation package… before congress breaks for the holidays?…

… and what about voting rights?… the elephant in the room… something has got to be done about voting rights…

… i find my way to an opinion piece on Politico by Charles Sykes… it discusses the domination of the Democratic Party infrastructure by mostly white, college educated, people… he accuses the party of having shifted too far to the left under their influence and of being out of touch with the more centrist working class voters who outnumber the college educated by a 2-1 margin… i get a little bit of that vibe from H, who accuses just about everyone on the right of being racist and homophobic… Sykes reminds me that echo chambers can skew one’s understanding of reality…

… an irritating stretch of minutes… dog poop in the living room… confusion about whether a file should be deleted or not… deleted, recovered, deleted again… computer choking and delaying in the process…

… J is coming to visit… love J but getting tired of entertaining getting in way of other productive work… ready to be a hermit for a while…

… HCR meter… back on the voting rights broken record… at least some senators resistant to filibuster alteration are starting to say it may be necessary… the gerrymandering appears to be really bad, as expected… congress needs to step in… Republicans need to be kicked to the curb… my humble opinion…

… had a bad day yesterday with aftereffects of alcohol the night before… didn’t really drink that much and only wine, and yet, i had headache and general malaise all day long… no alcohol last night, no signs of suffering today…

… harvested tarragon yesterday… put it in the drying rack… with sage, oregano and thyme… clips and protective fabric arrived for the planter tanks… now i need the hoops which come today… just in time… need to get them installed today as temps drop into the 20’s tonight…

… wondering about planting some garlic… i think i may try it… i have one tank cleared and almost ready to go…

… made the most delicious pork chops last night… locally raised meat from Nature’s Pantry freezer section… cooked to perfection with the pre-salting (at least an hour up to several hours in the refrigerator liberally salted all over)…

… i had a dream with S and B in it… we were in some small town at something like a diner… i was bragging about my pork chops to them (accomplished chefs and restaurant owners)… S got sick to their stomach (not over my pork chops)… tried to find a bowl for them to puke in, but couldn’t, so brought paper towels… when i return, everything seems normal and happy… can’t find the expected mess… then i woke up…

… cold, heavy frost, clear… copious steam from chimney takes me back to house to investigate… all is well… woman with English sheepdog, so regal, dog, not woman…

… lovely Tilda Swinton like woman with long open, sweeping coat flowing around buxom breasts… gaze turned to the side and, unlike yesterday, there is no seeming arrogance, just averting the eyes to avoid unwanted attention…

… i stop in Kitchen and Coffee… testing out winter options for stopping, warming and writing… J sees me and gives me a warm “hi Michael”… nice to be remembered even though i have spent little time here in the past couple of years… nice that she is still there…

… as i walk i consider the idea of involvement in local municipal affairs… i am thinking that paying attention, writing down what i witness and sharing it is the useful thing i can do… it would be in line with Notes On Attention Paid… i am less interested in the fight of politics than bearing witness and helping others “see”…

… i find my way to the City Council Website and there are links to agendas and minutes, even RSS feeds…

… K&C is slicker, more modern, less homey than Ella’s Bellas… a comfortable if somewhat overly neutral environment… a template for a chain?…

… the crowd is building… time to go…

Catalog cover, Francesca Woodman: Alternate Stories, published by Marion Goodman Gallery

… awesome talent, tragic story… this exhibition runs from November 02 to December 23 at the Marian Goodman Gallery in New York City… the exhibition catalog is for sale here.