Notes On Attention Paid

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First Thoughts

HCR meter neutral, a discussion of Republican bad behavior over the past 50 years which, one gets the impressions, there has not been much to match on the Democratici side… it seems clear that Republicans view themselves as being involved in a existential situation and are pulling out all the stops to stay in power… and have always done so, except when they were on the side of right and multiculturalism and the Democrats were the racists and purveyors of white supremacy… back in the Civil War era…

… H reports that L has become fed up with M and P and is washing their hands of the care of M and P and plans to rent a house during the wedding of their daughter… i am wondering if H is going to have to jump into the breach to take care of M and P… H is resisting that but i wonder if family loyalty and nursing instincts will kick in… at any rate, one hopes that M and L will come to appreciate H’s generosity of spirit and calmness in the face of difficult situations… i feel for them all… family turmoil not fun…

… this is my last full day in Florida and i am increasingly confident that M will be ok on their own… not that there won’t be sadnesses here and there… not that they won’t have moments of profound aloneness…

… i don’t think M has ever been alone in their life, jumping straight from childhood home to marriage…

… the other day M was speculating about how things might have been different had their childhood home situation not been difficult… would they have spent some time by themselves?… might they have gone to college? might they have become more independent?… would they have married D at all?… would R, J and i be here at all?… in that thought is the hint that the price for security has been high… further supported by the “free at last thought” the other day…

… yesterday a story about D’s intense jealousy preventing M and D from spending time with a couple M was close friends with… all because the spouse had a habit of touching, both men and women, on the arm when talking to them… a warm, friendly gesture which D refused to see as anything but hitting on M, even when they were the receiver of the touch gestures… they believed it was misdirection aimed at concealing lust for M…

… sadly, jealousy has kept M from lots of interactions with people she knew and cared about, including me, as i believe that jealousy was at the base of D’s anger towards me for the past 35 or 40 years… it’s not surprising that M has part of them saying “free at last”, and somewhat ironic that they are channeling Martin Luther King Jr. in doing so…