Notes On Attention Paid

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First Thoughts

HCR meter positive… about the radicalization of the Republican party and the possibility that the radical gamble may not be paying off… we’ll see… would love if it were true…

… more and more i am looking forward to returning home… in the past month and a half, H and i have spent less than 24 hours in each other’s presence… it’s wearing thin… i miss the dogs and the cat too… i miss my home life…

… M continues to look ok to me… they are sad, for sure, a little uncertain about being on their own… but my assessment is that they will be ok… we should all be attentive after i leave and it will be good to come back for Christmas…

… i went to check out the Red Roof Inn we would probably stay in when we come down… it was nice as RR Inns go… a big one with three buildings arranged around a courtyard with, i think, a pool… it is within walking distance of Tin City, a fun tourist trap with shops and restaurants installed in old tin commercial fishing buildings… one of my rituals when visiting M and D was to have dinner in Tin City at least once… i liked the honky tonk nature of it and the generally ordinary people that went there…

… M keeps trying to have political conversations with me… it makes me uncomfortable… at least they don’t get angry with opposing views… they were questioning me about voter ID laws in ways i didn’t have a good immediate answer for… i just sent them an article on the subject that seemed reasonably balanced and described the issues involved… we’ll see what they think…

… the world is different without D around… much less tension in the air, which we all felt because of their tendency towards irrational anger explosions… M feeling guilty because the thought “free at last” was passing through their mind… i told them that feelings are feelings, they are neither right or wrong… what one does with and about feelings is the pivotal question… that is where right and wrong start to enter into things…

… M is propelling me back onto FB… they want a way to keep up with what is going on in my life… i hesitate to give them access to this blog because even though i am very circumspect about identity, feelings that may be distressing to them do get expressed in a public venue… this might be a signal that i shouldn’t post them, but the venue is not public in the sense that FB is and i resent not being able to express myself more publicly about what’s going on in my life…