231.02 lbs

… downward trend of weight is a good was to start the day…

… slept in a little this AM… then the dogs suddenly had an urgent need to get out of bedroom… it was time to get up anyway… disrupted the normal order of the morning though… that has a discombobulating effect on one… when you have an out of the bed routine, it means you are on auto pilot until some of that delicious coffee starts flowing through your system… you struggle to think what’s next… oh yah, gotta feed the cat… not that the cat would ever let you forget for long… but after a few minutes, the flow of things is gently pushed back on track and auto pilot engages again…

… photography salon… a lot of abstract work last night… a lot of good abstract work… my image poem received reasonably well… i am well into it as a weekly production habit… more auto pilot… or is it a discipline that projects one more deeply into their life?… shaking things up once in a while is good, but disciplined routine certainly has its rewards…

… H asked me to call them last night… they announced their pending departure from CPW… big changes… H is a confusion to me… is it my leadership of the Salon that puts me on the list of people that should be notified before the general public learns?… our interactions have always been a bit stilted, distant, like we both want to connect but struggle to do so… they said they are working on a personal project of interviews with photo artists and i was one they wanted to connect with… i will miss them, but not completely clear in what way… she and C haven’t figured out exactly what they will be doing, or rather, the particulars of what they are doing… as we walked i wondered if they were pushed out or they are leaving under their own steam… i am distant from the politics of the center, so i don’t know… it could be either… H would never make it clear which… they will leave the area, they said… not clear where to… C is pursuing a PhD but it doesn’t sound as though the institution that will grant it is lined up yet… i think i will make a point of reaching out to them now and again in coming weeks and months, see if i can establish more of a relationship…

… S was not at Salon last night… they have been a bit silent lately… hope everything is good with them…

20220209-02

233.0 lbs

… hard time with weight… hard to exercise enough… hard not to eat and drink too much…

… H moody…

… we will head out to BI in a few days… looking forward to the change of scenery… trying to figure out what my reading, work routine will be… contemplating a new tablet, basic one for writing and what not, but don’t really have the money… will simplify my working out there…

… a comparatively rich couple of photo days… hope it keeps up…

… E liked Shifting the Silence… a lot…

… i have a feeling that what i am producing is meaningful even if very few people notice it… E said they have given up posting on FB because it is so unrewarding to the very beautiful content they share… i have found the same thing… whereas whinny wearing your heart on your sleeve and pictures of cats and dogs gets all the attention… i am trying to let go of the need for attention but it is hard… we make, at its best, because we can’t not make, but we want to be seen too…

… signed up for a micro.blog member’s newsletter because they signed up for mine… am i starting to generate an audience?… i am thinking that i will write on Friday and edit pictures on Saturday so that my two titled posts are ready to go as we leave for BI…

… i still need to think what our meal is going to be for Valentines Day… maybe lamb?… roast leg of?… then we could share with M and P… hmmm…

… i received my copy of Woman in the Dunes… it’s reputed to be a masterpiece… it features a picture of a man and woman making love on the cover, so of course my libido being in charge of things wanted a copy… artsy eroticism… what could be better?…

… H has their surgery date… end of March… shouldn’t be a big deal… day surgery… there is tension about it none the less… don’t blame them…

… the political crisis in the country gets worse every day… i don’t think anyone can say for sure whether democracy will survive… on my bad days i despair that it won’t… all kinds of nasty thinking people declaring their desire to see democracy end… Peter Thiel, a libertarian billionaire has stepped down from the board of Meta to work on electing Trumpian candidates in 2022… he apparently believes that Democracy is not compatible with freedom anymore, deplores welfare and that women should never have been allowed to vote… seriously?… WTF

20220208-01

232.0 lbs

… my weight dropping slowly as i manage what i eat and get out for walks again… looking forward to better walking conditions so i can walk further…

… dinner with D and E last night… so nice to spend time with friends… brought them copies of Etel Ednan’s book Shifting the Silence and Kitto’s book, The Greeks, as well as a nice bottle of wine…

… E and i in similar places about making art, though my advantage is that photography fits mostly on a hard drive… E says their first art focus was photography and they think sometimes about returning to it…

… a lazy day yesterday… spent most of the day laying around watching tv… The Summer of Soul documentary… some Olympics…

… a disappointing response to my posts yesterday… only a couple of likes, no comments… haven’t checked the analytics yet to see if there was action beyond my own… i need to do something about making the analytics such that it doesn’t count my visits to the site…

… just purchased a copy of Bertran Russell’s History of Western Philosophy… before i tackle it i will tackle Virginia Wolf’s To The Lighthouse…

20220207-01

20220203-01

231.0 lbs

… not unexpected weight gain… takeout Chinese food last night… too much… fried… etc…

… the thought that when one reads history one becomes aware of great peoples… but great peoples do not remain great across time in the same place… civilizations wax and wan… i wonder if i am living in a country that is waning… i wonder if my misfortune is to live in a country that, at the end of my life, is in the process of collapsing its greatness (if it ever was truly great) like a spent star collapsing in on itself… the signs are there… are we at a moment when the things that would tear us apart will motivate great change, great calamity, great collapse, all three, two of the three, none of the above?…

… reading the history of the Greeks, there are echoes of the distant past in what is happening now…

… last night, i said to H, how is it that we have had so much time to work on the race problem and we have made so little progress?… we could be at a moment of great leaping forwards, or, backwards… the stage is set for a multiarchy to arise… the numbers will be there… but, then again, we have our own Sparta trying to prevail and keep the stratified society going… at the moment they don’t have the numbers, but… they appear to have the upper hand…

… still fretting about H going to the concert… i have worked out a plan that protects me… i need to discuss it with them…

… HCR sounding a note of hope, that we might be at a turning point with 45 and his minions… i am a little too weary and wary to hope… accountability seems a difficult thing in this place and this time…

… last night a news segment discussing the fact that more Americans have died from COVID than in any other advanced economy in the world… a large part of the blame is on our broadly poor health… is this another indicator of a failing civilization?…

20220201-01

230.2 lbs

… i went to bed feeling upset with H who has decided to go to a concert with L at an indoor venue… they asked if i wanted to come, i said no, i wasn’t comfortable with crowded indoor venues… they asked a friend if they wanted to come… that friend said no, for the same reason… i said to H, “if you get it, i get it”… they said they had thought about that… so far, the choice is to go… there is no way to effectively quarantine in our home and Omicron is so contagious that it would be difficult to be in any shared environment and not share it… at least that is my perception of things… i am wondering what effort they will make to keep me safe… i am wondering how long i should let it sit before i ask them to let me know how they plan to keep me safe… i am a little worried they are not considering how to keep me safe at all…

… apart from the above, yesterday not such a bad day… got some things done… managed a walk… took some pictures… got some reading done…

20220131-01

… well, major success on the culinary front last night and then a really good night’s sleep… perhaps the world will be my oyster this AM?…

… i have decided to return to Ulysses for journaling and short, spur of the moment posting to my blog site… the work flow is simple and fast and Ulysses is a good working environment… i will continue to use Obsidian for notes on reading and research rabbit holes…

… i do have to talk a bit about the culinary success… i made the Persian rice with tahdig in a new cast iron pot i got for the purpose… most recipes recommend a non-stick pot and i had one i purchased to make this dish… however, i am determined to eliminate non-stick from my kitchen… the most suitable replacement is cast iron, but, as one fellow cook said, properly seasoned cast iron is mostly non-stick… it takes more finesse to cook a dish like this with cast iron… so, to get a perfect tahdig as i did is amazing…

… my first try was a disaster for the most part… the rice bonded to the pot like super glue… last night was my second try and the rice came out clean as a whistle which i attribute to a number of things…

• nearly two weeks of working on the seasoning of the new pot
• the use of butter as the bond breaker
• the cooling of the bottom of the pot before tipping the rice out onto a plate

… yesterday was a much better day than Saturday… laundry got done, fish got bought, family got met with, though it was just M on FaceTime… also did some tweaking of my blog… changed the theme… looks much better now…

20220130-02

… they say it’s important to have a plan…

… my plan is to to write one long form titled post each week… i will set aside Saturday mornings for doing this (i am an early riser even on Sat)… content would be drawn from the past week of reading, journal writing and blog posting…

… these will be one of several kinds of titled post i produce… another is a weekly photo micro edit¹ which i have already begun…

… all titled posts will be gathered together in a monthly newsletter post…

… that’s my plan and i am sticking to it…

… sitting here procrastinating about going out to walk and make pictures… it’s only 2 degrees F out… going to be like this for the next week… i will, however, persist… just need to get my inner warmth going…

228.2 lbs

… weight down when there was the possibility of up… that’s a good start to the day…

… BP has been running a little high… not sure why… weight is down overall from a year ago… need adjustment in meds?…

… yesterday filled with tech frustrations in addition to not feeling very well… hangover… headache all day… went to bed early and slept reasonably well… seven hours in bed, about six hours good sleep?…

… strained muscle in left hand… evidently my fall the other day did hurt a little something… really lucky it was not worse…

… depressed that the dems don’t seem like they will be able to get voting rights legislation passed… feels like it spells doom for democracy in the country… i struggle to believe the times we are living in… it also doesn’t feel like the Biden administration is being very smart… lots of missteps, unforced errors… also bad luck… it isn’t that we didn’t see Omicron coming… the scientists probably did… but probably didn’t see such a contagious version… the scientists are saying that most everyone will get it… one should still try to avoid it but the odds are against success in that department… how is it we don’t have adequate testing?… it’s a miserable time…

… my deep reading project is managing to uplift my spirits… having something meaningful to concentrate on helps…

…it’s late in the day… relatively speaking… i usually make my first note somewhere around 4:30 AM… its going for 3:30 PM… i started reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance… an important chapter it turned out… lots of significant content… in any case, it was time to go for my walk before i knew it…

… the day has been a little odd in structure and feeling… i told H that severe cold is coming and a snowstorm to boot… H got immediately concerned about the generator and whether it would work and so forth… we haven’t cranked it up in years so i am afraid it won’t work… the electrical system in the house has been altered so i am not even sure it will hook up to the house the way it should… i am embarrassed that we haven’t done the little maintenance needed to keep it as an option… the whole conversation sent me into a tail spin… it left me feeling so inadequate and pissed at them… uggh…

… then deal with bills that need to be paid… i adopted a policy of every piece of mail is dealt with and disposed of/filed before i can move on… traditionally i have let mail pile up on my desk, dealing with only the must pay bills and letting the rest languish… not today… successfully cleared the mail away…

… then it was prep for Salon which took longer than it should of… had to track down the emails… had to acquire the shared dropbox folder, etc., etc., etc… a full crowd sharing tonight… pent up demand i am thinking… we skipped salon last month…

… just finished editing photographs… there weren’t too many… it’s been very cold and i haven’t wanted to be out too long…

… i am tired and a little depressed…

228.4 lbs

… i expected the weight gain as i fell off the no seconds rule last night… still, if i get back on the no S track today, i expect the weight will come back off quickly… loosing weight, maintaining weight, a true Sisyphean enterprise…

First notes…

227.6 lbs

… feeling more rested today… not much alcohol… went to bed earlier… slept ok… awake at 2:30 AM… stayed in bed until 3:45 AM… maybe i slept a little more…

…clean out the coffee pot… get coffee water started… grind coffee beans… feed the cat… take my meds… release the hounds from the bedroom… take them outside… f***!, its cold outside… check my weather widget… in the teens… the fingertips of my right hand starting to tingle by the time we come back in… the air is so crisp and i am so warm from being inside… the contrast is wonderful… i am alive!…

… i started my quest for the principles one can lead their life by and for something that may be a legitimate alternative to the present extractive and destructive economic system… i am coming to the conclusion already that one can live their life within the system without participating so much in it… the two texts i have chosen to begin with reading are Buddhist Economics, E. F. Schumacher, and Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig… BE requires some reading up on the basic principles of Buddhism which also benefits the reading of Zen and the Art… from the former i learn that if one follows the eightfold paths, one will not be engaging in the worst aspects of the dominant system… from the latter i expect to learn that pursuing quality in product and experience will lead to a happier existence, which is also a subtext of Buddhism… to the extent that we all must consume to stay alive, one can make choices that are ‘quality’ choices… we have arrived at a system where mean and shabby are the rule, not the exception… i am looking forward to developing a philosophy of how to live… or, rather, confirming a philosophy of how to live and then pursuing it…

… Heather Cox Richardson writing about the Ahmaud Arbery case… the three men convicted of the murder of Ahmaud Arbery were sentenced yesterday… two of them to life in prison without parole, one of them to life with the possibility of parole… she points out that justice came perilously close to not happening… she uses the case as a springboard to discussing voting rights and states rights… she notes that the SCOTUS is poised to strike down federal vaccine mandates and that the court gutted voting rights legislation… leading to the result that states have increasingly enacted restrictive voting laws and, in some cases, have installed partisans to be in charge of elections or have passed laws that provide for the overturning of election results by partisan officials… interestingly, the cry against gerrymandering has quieted, largely because it appears to be a wash overall, with neither Republicans or Democrats gaining or loosing much ground in numbers of representatives in Congress… the discussion on states rights is an interesting one… the current originalist leaning SCOTUS is bending towards the supremacy of states rights, not an unreasonable stance… the question starts to be, to what degree can you allow individual states pursue governance and policies that are favorable to one group over another… isn’t the role of the Federal Government to protect the freedom and rights of everyone across the country, and don’t they need to be able to trump states rights in some instances to do so?…

First notes…

228.8 lbs

… the weight loss trend comes to a halt… most likely water weight gain which is cyclical…

… Chas got me up extra early this AM… i think he had to go to the bathroom… i feel certain a nap will be necessary today… i can’t keep running on six hours of sleep every night… i feel a bit numbed, drained, not my usual ready to read and pay attention self… i did just rough out a number of Haiku…

… Heather Cox Richardson writing about January 6… it disturbs me that main stream media is openly discussing the possibility that Democracy won’t survive… 45 has grown stronger, not weaker… a sizable portion of the population is fine with autocracy… is maneuvering to impose minority will on the majority, a patriarchal, mostly white minority… the civil war all over again… the thought occurs to me… if the multiarchy ascends and runs the show, won’t the exploitation of minorities and people in general be challenged?… is this a sign that market capitalism can’t survive without slavery of one kind or another?… why, as E. F. Schumacher speculated, shouldn’t an economy be constructed around the principle of making every life better, allowing every individual to grow to their full and natural potential… why should people be forced into work that does not fulfill them or make them better human beings?…

… i have had the idea to do a piece on texts that give me the hint of a different way to do things… i want to post it… just, these writings point to a different way of looking at things, a different way of living… i am not clear yet on what they add up to, but they certainly point to something… i will share it and keep updating it… my great conundrum is this… how can a new way of looking at and doing things come about when the dominant world order is so… dominating… i imagine one needs to construct a hybrid that is able to operate on its own core principles but which plugs into the bigger system as required for it not to become an isolated utopia destined to collapse under the weight of its ideals… a pragmatic way of being based on some core principles… an alternative way of living that seeks to mitigate market capitalist exploitation… Braiding Sweetgrass, Buddhist Economics, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance are three texts that come to mind as offering an alternative path… my plan is to re-read these texts and see how my ideas might solidify…

…ever have one of those mornings, days, weeks, where, despite your best intentions and efforts, something is cropping up to steal your attention away from what you had planned to do with your time?… i don’t know what it is about the last few days, but i cannot seem to settle into the routines i have set for myself… Tuesday became about the installation of a new storm door… Wednesday became about the cleansing of my desk chair castors which had become immobilized by all the pet and human hair that had been sucked up into their spinning interstitial spaces… and today, Thursday, this early morning… derailed by a pretty long article about the wildfires in California that was worth reading, but not what i had intended to read and a dog whining at the bedroom door… a dog that when let outside began to graze on the grass which means his tummy is upset… ok cosmos, i am sure you will let me know when i can get back to my normal routines… meanwhile, i am doing my best to go with the flow…

First notes…

227.2 lbs

… second day of No S diet observance… weight down again…

… i spent most of yesterday installing the new storm door… it went pretty well… i have to make some adjustments to the frame that will be a bit of a pain, but it is installed and we are happy with it… the door was not as custom as i would have thought we paid for… it came with extension pieces and was more than an inch short of the full height required… it was, at least, just short of the full width of the rough opening as it should have been… the door cost us $850… its a good door… well insulated, weatherstripped, and features a screen that automatically drops down when the top window pain is lowered… for the good weather… i practiced what i learned from 4K Weeks… embrace what one is being asked to focus on in the present moment… let the other priorities stand in abeyance while this one thing claims center stage… return to the rest when it is done…

… we watched more Station 11 last night… i fell asleep… i find the current rage for telling stories in non-linear fashion a bit tedious… i get the artfulness of it… i suppose it develops a kind of suspense that might keep some hanging on waiting to figure out what it is all about… it seems more device than art to me in this case… at this moment i compare it to Georges Perec’s life which in a way, is this concept on steroids, but it works better in Perec… perhaps it works better in the book the series is based on…

… Heather Cox Richardson this morning, as expected, is all about the J6 Select Committee asking Sean Hannity to appear before it and answer some questions… Hannity will likely decline to do so on first amendment (freedom of the press) grounds… the committee’s questions were narrowly aimed at communications between Hannity and 45’s administration and it is clear that he is acting as adviser, not journalist, and, in any case, Hannity has said in public, on air, that he does not consider himself a journalist… there is a good chance the committee could compel his testimony should they wish to… whether they will or not is probably dependent on how effectively they can steer clear of the violation of first amendment rights accusations that will certainly be leveled by Trumpist conservatives… one needs also to have a clear eyed view of whether 45 will become president and how the tools of government might be used to exact revenge…

… every day, Liz Cheney is more a hero to me, as is the entire Select Committee, as every member is enduring death threats and threats to their careers in general… Cheney is currently not expected to survive the next election cycle…

… i have allowed myself to think that Democracy will not win this current struggle… one of the key ways it could stay in the game, national voting rights legislation, seems unlikely given the intransigence of Manchin and Sinema on the filibuster rule… personally, i don’t think Mitch McConnel would hesitate for a second to throw it overboard if it stood between him and something he wanted to accomplish…

… the other thing that could save democracy is the work of the J6 Committee… they appear to have a pretty clear picture of what happened… there appears to be criminal culpability on the part of 45 and senior members of his administration… but… the attempt to overturn democracy is ongoing and the partisanship is so fevered and delusional that over 70% of Republicans believe the last election was stollen from them, even though there is no audit of the election, official or otherwise, that has turned up any wrong doing, any fraud… Facts said Kelly Anne Conway, don’t matter. What people believe matters… the truest words ever uttered by a political operative… whatever you can get the people to believe is what matters… and, a majority of the people is not needed, only radicalization of enough of the minority to a fevered pitch… Trumpian conservatives are winning the belief and fever pitch game at the moment…

First notes

228.8 lbs

… the new year in NOAP officially begins… i sit here, wondering what to write, knowing that i should just start writing and something will surface…

… the salient features of yesterday…

… my traditional new year’s day walk by the river interrupted by the escape of Fiona… situation resolved by the time i get home…

… after making a french omeltte for breakfast, i go out to the back yard and repair the hole in the fence through which Fiona escaped and reinforced the bottom of the fence in places not previously reinforced… i recommend to H that she still escort the dogs out to the back yard… Fiona is fiendishly clever about escape… it’s a horrible feeling when a dog you love escapes and goes for a walkabout… it’s happened a number of times with her… a number of times she has been contained by neighbors who call, or bring her back… speaking of dogs… Chas is whining to be let out of the bedroom…

… when i go out with the dogs i discover it is still raining… it’s been gray and dreary since we returned from our southern sojourn… it will get cold tonight… even colder Monday night… down into the teens…

… dogs let out, treated, returned to bedroom with H… the next few hours are mine… i put on my headphones, cue up Bach Cello Suites, Paul Tortelier the performer… i should have them memorized by now and on a certain level they are, on another level, they are not…

… yesterday i was thinking about books i have recently read, about Etel Adnan’s lovely book, Shifting the Silence, that i can’t remember a single detail of… nothing… is it that they weren’t significant enough to me to emblazon some message on my brain?… or, is my mind getting old and not retaining the way it used to… possibly a combination of the two…

… and so the year has begun… i have trepedation about this new year… i believe the political situation will continue to get worse… the climate will continue to get worse… the world situation will continue to get worse… possibly the only challenge that may not get worse is the pandemic… how much worse could it get?… at any rate, the new and really contagious variant does not seem to be as virulent… that can be a sign that it is burning itself out… one can hope… H was wondering if we should restart instacart for most groceries… i am not fully there yet… i think i will try going to markets at times when there are few people there… early in the AM… that’s my super power… being able to get going earlier than most…

… we did some shopping and food making for a young family, half of which is down with covid, despite being vaccinated, boosted and cautious, masking up when appropriate, avoiding crowds as best they can… they are frustrated, something about parents at daycare being antivaxers… we offered to continue to help, bring food, run errands…

… i notice there is snow forecasted for Friday, 3-6 inches… that is far enough out that it could easily change before then…

… what do i want to get done today?… photo walk… writing… make breakfast… farmer’s market… family zoom call… clean stovetop… vacuum… read… more writing… what should i pay attention to?…

Fiona goes for a walk about…

… having a nice walk by the river when H calls and in a panicked voice tells me to come home, Fiona had escaped the back yard… i can report that heart and lungs are good to go… quite the uphill hike from the river done double time… as i was getting close enough to join the search she called to tell me she had found and coraled her… what a relief!…

… this brief message about how quickly life can be rerouted brought to me by the cosmos…

Happy New Year!… may your year be filled with attention paid to all the right things, whatever those may be!

First notes…

… we got home safe and sound with, i guess, 1 near miss when a car suddenly decided to change lanes and almost pulled in front of us with no time for us to stop… swerved around, crash avoided… having done that myself days earlier, i realized that shit happens, humans make mistakes, no car or person was hurt, just move on… well, not quite, i did utter a bunch of explatives…

… i keep thinking about the possibility that i am related (distantly?) to James Earl Ray… i am tempted to tell people but i keep thinking that my reason for doing so is to attach myself to the notoriety of it… make myself interesting through it… the man shot and killed Martin Luther King… why would i want to attach myself to the notoriety of that?… yet, i know the universe has shifted for my consciousness with this small piece of information… what do i do with it?… what is the message it is delivering?…

… i keep thinking about Ancestory.com commercials that tempt you to explore your family tree with the idea that you will discover some interesting, possibly even famous, ancestor that shared an interest you have, even a profession… they never posit a finding of being related to a notorious murderer, which of course, is going to happen to some people… of course, that i am related to such a person in whatever way says little about me… i am not prejudice beyond the ways in which most white people routinely and largely unconsciously are… i am not violent, don’t own a gun, have no desire to own a gun… well, that is not quite true, the volatility of the current political situation has me wondering every now and again about whether i should have one for self defense should anarchy unfold…

… i read the Wikipedia article about JER and discover that through the Ray side of the family (my grandmother on my father’s side), i am of Irish, Scottish and Welsh descent… i also discover that there was controversy over whether Ray committed the crime and that the family of MLK ultimately came to believe that Ray was not the assassin and that there was a plot involving government and the mafia that had set him up to take the fall… in 1998 AG Janet Reno opened a Justice Department investigation of the conspiracy claims and released a report in 2000 saying there was no conspiracy… Ray is buried in Ireland…

… whatever the truth is, and the evidence seems to favor him as lone assassin, JER was a “bad apple,” as they say… he was in and out of prison for a number of crimes committed prior to assassinating MLK… i have decided that i need to ask M about this connection and explore the history of it further… my cousin also sent us a link to Ancestory.com that has the Kriegh side of the family tree…

First notes…

… 11 hours on the road yesterday… another interminable amount of time unloading car, procuring food and beer… i don’t know when i have been more tired…

… we are outside of Savannah… food was found at Cracker Barrel… a curious place… we stopped in one or two on our trip to Illinois to get Fiona… they consist of gift shop and restaurant and seem designed to lead to lots of waiting in the gift shop to get access to food… the gift shop is filled with stuff, practical and whimsical related to “country culture” of the place they are located in… here in Georgia Harry Potter and the sitcom Friends seem to be on the list, along with cast iron pans chicken paraphernalia and moonpies…

… as i waited for my food i noted big bellied white men and their generally more trim women as the bulk of patronage, some Blacks and Spanish and Aisians too… no signs of racial animosity… this being Georgia i somehow expected tensions to be massive and visible… everybody seemed to mingle comfortably… and that is the thing… the impressions we get of places through national news is enormously skewed to the tensions of the country as manifested by shenanigans of a few… the bulk of the population just wants to get on with their lives and that is what they do…

… the more i think about politics and the difficulty of conversations the more i think one should not speak about candidates or parties, one should talk around issues only… what do you think about immigration, abortion rights, the best way to secure prosperity for the majority of the population, gun rights, voting rights, not what does your party think, what do you think?…

… i found a municipal parking garage on the edge of the historic district in Savannah so we know where we can park now… we point our car to the garage and move out from there… now we need to figure out bathrooms…

First Notes

227.2 lbs

… the traditional overeating happened yesterday without much weight gain… we made a lovely dinner of crab meat strudel, roast rack of lamb and roasted root veggies… we played a yule log on the TV all day, went for a nice walk with dogs, had nice chats with M… i feel sad to be turning around and leaving so soon… H and i agree, we would structure our trip differently if we did it again…

… Christmas isn’t as noticeable in Naples… not as much decoration… not cold and gray… hard to think Christmas when it is beach weather… still, the world did stop for 24 hours…

… learned a little sadness about D… we had a nasty exchange years ago… it was entirely their fault… M tells me that over the years it morphed into my abuse of them in their mind… they were so angry with me… to the point of hatred it sounds… they’er dead now but still casting a shadow on my life… not sorry i wasn’t present when they died… there are some positive reverberations of D’s being… i have a coat, a sweatshirt of theirs… when i put them on i find myself feeling them as the warm embrace i never could have got from them when they were alive…

… M put out a couple of small Christmas Tree scenes D bought… the kind of thing i considered getting for H and me to travel with… these gave me the sense of D being present in a good way… i connected with them…

… when M told me about the morphing of D’s perception of “the incident” i wanted to tell them my theory of the case, that D was jealous of me because of my close relationship with them… Oedepal, i know… i was a rival for the affections of the person they cared most about in the world… my goose was cooked a long time ago all the way back to when i was in my 20s…

… M liked the portable twinkle lights we brought so we left them…

First Notes

227 lbs

… Christmas eve with M, H and Dogs… we are told about an extremely poisonous toad that inhabits bushes in Florida… now we will keep dogs away from bushes and i will have night and daymares about the dogs getting hold of one until we clear the lands of poisonous toads… dogs behaved pretty well yesterday… M seemed to like them well enough…

… we watched Love Actually together last night… today it is breakfast, presents such as they are… the prep and consumption of Christmas dinner… rack of lamb, roasted root vegetables…

… starting to think about logistics for the return trip… not as well prepared on the food front… not sure how to get prepared… need to get some wine for sure…

… research into Savannah Historic District… looks like a fun day will be had…

… still looks like weather will be good…

… it’s been a little sad being here… i get the feeling M is not sure what to live for… i have my own struggles with that… what do we live for?… especially as we get older and less relevant to the people we live amongst…

First Notes

225.7 lbs

… i knew my weight would be down but almost 3 lbs is amazing!… next two days will add some of that back but nice work me!…

… the drive from Savannah to Naples was, in its own way, easier than either of two days before, but, the rule of add two hours to what the map app says held… i am convinced that this trip should have three overnights, not just 2… we will do that on way back, stopping two nights in Savannah… it won’t make a difference in time spent on the road driving each day, but at least we will see something… will be a busy couple of days and then we will head back… this trip will have to be configured differently if we do it again…

… H and dogs sleeping…

… i was so exhausted last night… couldn’t put two thoughts together towards end of dinner…

First notes…

… we started our journey to Florida yesterday and the first leg of the trip was a bear… we got a late start which put us at DC near rush hour… DC rush Hour traffic is legendary… the traffic was weird too… car with flashing lights moving too slow on I95… in the fast lane!… a brush fire by the side of the road… accidents we never saw because we were rerouted through suburbs and farm land to avoid… the vehicular arteries around DC as metaphor for the arteries of government… what should have been 7 hours of driving turned into 9 with only 2 brief stops!… we will get an earlier start today… hoping the worst is behind us…

… we seem to have landed in the land of national chain retailers… big box stores everywhere…

First Notes

228.2 lbs

… departure day… will leave a little later than hoped, but, there is no ferry to catch, so we should be good…

… FB friend of Holly’s told her to beware I95 corridor gas stations… seems to be a spreading vector for COVID… i do an internest search, don’t find any new articles but find one from 2020 citing research of spread along the corridor so it makes sense that it would be a vector for Omicron… i have packed latex gloves and disinfectant wipes which i have not been using lately but will start using on the trip…

… did watch The Ice Harvest last night… slept through most of it… H says it was good… i guess we will add it to the roster…

… did a lot yesterday… not quite enough, but a lot… there is no absolute departure time today, so we should be fine… at least all our Christmas gifts got sent off and delivered…

… check utility bill, had been thinking automatic pay didn’t work… i was right… set up payment… one more thing off my mind…

First notes…

… week 52, last week of the year/Fall… but then i wonder, am i out of sync, is this actually week 51?… it could be… yup, it is… argh!!! ok then, week 51 it is… still the last week of fall, last few days… we are setting out on our trip on the winter solstice… hmmm… we need some sort of celebratory something to mark it… as i contemplate this, i find myself hoping that something magical will be the result of setting out on the solstice…

… in two days we set out for Florida… much to do between now and then… i did manage to get Christmas packages off to R and J, still don’t have a gift for M to speak of… some little things… what sort of anything does M need/Want?…

… H in a bad mood yesterday… temporarily lost their watch band, which i later found, then their mood started to pick up… i also think they have the pre-traveling bad mood… it seems to be a thing with them…

… today we drive up to Hudson to see S and B, pick up the fruitcakes…

… i have been thinking about a number of things that i/we have that really work… my current shoulder bag, which i have had for a long time but which i recently started using again and discovered, wow, it really is just about the perfect bag… then there is the new electric kettle we just bought that has a coffee temperature setting and we both swear it has made a big difference in the taste of our coffee in the morning… we specualte on the absence of lime scale and the lower temperature when poured over the grounds make a difference… and finally, my upright mouse which seems to have solved my shoulder pain problems entirely and is a dream to use… so comfortable… it’s so nice when things work well…

… we watched a new Netflix movie, A Boy Named Christmas, that was very good… then i read another 10 or so pages of A Christmas Story out loud to H… we are going to make it a nightly ritual while we are traveling… hoping to finish up Christmas Eve… or maybe Christmas morning would be appropriate…

… been thinking a good deal about how this journaling/photography/reading/writing effort proceeds in the new year… part of me has always concluded that one just needs to do it as they feel compelled to do it… that there is no ultimate goal to it… but then another part of me wants something more solid to come of it… wants it to be more useful to others that might encounter it… i had signs of that, one of the Micro.blog community commented that i had shared something useful… i don’t need the aprobations of others, but i don’t mind getting it once in a while…