20220203-01

231.0 lbs

… not unexpected weight gain… takeout Chinese food last night… too much… fried… etc…

… the thought that when one reads history one becomes aware of great peoples… but great peoples do not remain great across time in the same place… civilizations wax and wan… i wonder if i am living in a country that is waning… i wonder if my misfortune is to live in a country that, at the end of my life, is in the process of collapsing its greatness (if it ever was truly great) like a spent star collapsing in on itself… the signs are there… are we at a moment when the things that would tear us apart will motivate great change, great calamity, great collapse, all three, two of the three, none of the above?…

… reading the history of the Greeks, there are echoes of the distant past in what is happening now…

… last night, i said to H, how is it that we have had so much time to work on the race problem and we have made so little progress?… we could be at a moment of great leaping forwards, or, backwards… the stage is set for a multiarchy to arise… the numbers will be there… but, then again, we have our own Sparta trying to prevail and keep the stratified society going… at the moment they don’t have the numbers, but… they appear to have the upper hand…

… still fretting about H going to the concert… i have worked out a plan that protects me… i need to discuss it with them…

… HCR sounding a note of hope, that we might be at a turning point with 45 and his minions… i am a little too weary and wary to hope… accountability seems a difficult thing in this place and this time…

… last night a news segment discussing the fact that more Americans have died from COVID than in any other advanced economy in the world… a large part of the blame is on our broadly poor health… is this another indicator of a failing civilization?…