Notes On Attention Paid

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01 First Thoughts

… the reverberations from yesterday’s pit bull encounter continue to play out in my head, i relive the attack over and over, each time imagining what i might do if it happened again, how i might defend myself and my dog if a similar attack happens in the future…

… this trauma brings up a years ago memory of the time a dog of ours got locked in the jaws of a pit bull on the ferry… he lived to tell about it, but still, a trauma that i vividly remember to this day, even though the dog is no longer with us… yesterday’s incident did not harm Fiona, but it so easily could have been much worse… later, at the farmer’s market, Fiona was more shy with the bigger dogs than before, she has her own trauma to deal with… i wonder if she, in a more rudimentary way, tries to imagine what she might do differently if such a situation happened again… they say dogs live much more in the moment, but i’m not convinced…

… nature programs us to lock memories of trauma in… i suppose it helps us recognize and avoid future similar situations, though there was no avoiding this one, a sudden confluence of circumstances that one had no reason or possibility to see coming… it will alter my behavior though… sadly, i won’t take my dog with me to hike this trail again…