… today we harvest chickens, i will come home with five of them… today my iPhone 12 Pro Max will arrive… i would like not to feel excited, not to feel like my life is about to be transformed, because i know that isn’t true, but anticipation is a wicked thing… yesterday a new bluetooth keyboard arrived, i anticipate it will be handy when i start returning to cafes and while on Block Island…

… i am hoping the Pro Max 12 will solidify and raise to a new level my notes project, but where do i want to elevate it to?… what is lacking now?… i want it to add up to something meaningful… useful to others… i am the only one who sees it, reads it… i keep telling myself that it does not matter as long as it helps me, but it does… we all want attention, i am unwilling to do what grabs attention… or maybe my life is not attention worthy… how could it be?… we go nowhere, it’s Beacon most of the time, Block Island some of the time, frustrating sameness in Beacon for sure, even on Block Island… we need some adventures, we need to figure out how to make that happen…